humorous-quotes

Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Yo Mama__ so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo Mama__ so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, __orry, no professionals.

Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.

No one ever thinks about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams" This guy gets around more than Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but this time, I think he's gone too far. Unfortunately, I can't put a cover of my book My Year in Oman with Mr. Williams' picture on the cover.

Suddenly, the double doors of the parlor whooshed open. A large fleshy woman stood before me in full regalia. Her eyes were all made up, earrings and bracelets jangling. The sign in the window said Miss Sadie was a medium. From the look of her, I'd say that was a bit wishful.

Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts

Thus, hanging around in our towels (and those weird disposable underpants) was no big deal.

Give a man a beer, the remote and a La-Z-Boy and he__ a happy camper! All Things Caveman humor cartoon book will help you understand that hairy guy beside you.

Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me!

I'm not sexist, I'd f**k both sexes equally if I was gay - John Blu

Don't waste water on washing your shirt, use photoshop!

Owning a drone does not a pilot make.

You never know what you will find in your pants!

There are worse things than eating the dead, my dear fellow. Far worse things. There is, for instance, making a huge profit out of their funeral, which is the normal custom in the civilized world.