Oliver Oliver Reed

Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.

Yo Mama__ so poor, when I lit her house on fire, the cockroaches came out singing, __lap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got some heat!

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

What__ the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747.

Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

Yo Mama__ so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.

If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.

Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.

Yo Mama__ so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo Mama__ so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Yo Mama__ so old, her memory is in black and white.