funny-quote

If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.

There is nothing wrong with being a puppet if love is the one pulling the strings.

Money can't buy love, except on Valentine__ Day.

Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.

Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.

Get high on love, not drugs.

An inch to a man__ heart is a mile to his wallet.

The world__ most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.

A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably under a restraining order.

You__e gorgeous. You__e sexy. You__e _ asking me to cut that dress off you? I__ praying for strength.

We found Trent and pulled him off the leggy girl. __rent, it__ time to get home before your parents realize we snuck out._ I said. __hat?_ he asked confusedly. __lus the bouncer found out we were sixteen and he does not look happy._ Logan added. The girl froze, __ou__e sixteen? What the hell. You little perv, you__e going to pay for this._ Trent sputtered, __hat? No._ Logan looked at her all doe eyed innocence and said __orry Ma__m, we have to get home now because it__ past our curfew._ Trent stood open mouthed in shock but his eyes were shooting murderous rays. So many death glares, so little time.

I am Detective Inspector Me. This is my partner, Detective Her."The traffic warden frowned. "Her?""Me," said Stephanie."Him?""Not me," said Skulduggery. "Her.""Me," said Stephanie."You?" said the traffic warden."Yes," said Stephanie. "I'm sorry, who are you?"Stephanie looked at him. "I'm Her, he's Me. Got it?

I'd say," the Ranger answered after a few seconds' deliberation, "that he'll be heading south now that he has the chance. Back into Araluen.""How do you know that?" Horace asked. He was always impressed at the two Rangers' ability to read a situation and come up with the correct answer to a problem. Sometimes, he thought, they almost seemed to have divine guidance."I'm guessing," Halt told him.

Halt regarded him. He loved Horace like a younger brother. Even like a second son, after will. He admired his skill with a sword and his courage in battle. But sometimes, just sometimes, he felt an overwhelming desire to ram the young warrior's head against a convenient tree.

As one would expect, the Pope__ schedule is quite disciplined__e wakes up at four o__lock each morning and runs on the treadmill for an hour. I__ totally kidding. Nobody__ knees have time for that.

I would make a poor princess,' she said. 'Why?''Have you ever wished to be a princess?' Ash challenged her. 'That depends,' Kaisa said. 'On what?''On whether I'd have to marry a prince,' she said and her tone was lighthearted, inviting Ash to share her smile.

You're asking the cyborg fugitive and the wild animal to be the welcoming committee? That's adorable.

Your booty call embargo will remain intact.