hilarious

Now give me some advice about how to take full advantage of this city. I__ always looking to improve my odds.___ust what I__ expect from a horny actuary._____ serious.__arlos reflected for a moment on the problem at hand. He actually had never needed or tried to take full advantage of the city in order to meet women, but he thought about all of his friends who regularly did. His face lit up as he thought of some helpful advice: __et into the arts.___he arts?___eah.___ut I__ not artistic.___t doesn__ matter. Many women are into the arts. Theater. Painting. Dance. They love that stuff.___ou want me to get into dance? Earthquakes have better rhythm than me_And can you really picture me in those tights?___ake an art history class. Learn photography. Get involved in a play or an independent film production. Get artsy, Sammy. I__ telling you, the senoritas dig that stuff.___eally?___eah. You need to sign up for a bunch of artistic activities. But you can__ let on that it__ all just a pretext to meet women. You have to take a real interest in the subject or they__l quickly sniff out your game.___ don__ know_It__ all so foreign to me_I don__ know the first thing about being artistic.___eeb, this is the time to expand your horizons. And you__e in the perfect city to do it. New York is all about reinventing yourself. Get out of your comfort zones. Become more of a Renaissance man. That__ much more interesting to women.

Speaking of body decorations, I luuhhhvv your belly piercing!_ Heeb said, looking at the gold ring in the center of her slim, tan waist. Despite the artic cold, Angelina had opted for a skin tight, black tube top that ended just above her belly, on the assumption that a warm cab, a winter coat, and a short wait to get into the club was an adequate frosty weather strategy. Heeb was still reverently staring at her belly when Angelina finally caught her breath from laughing.__o you really like it? You__e just saying that so that you can check out my belly!___nd what__ so bad about that? I mean, didn__ you get that belly piercing so that people would check out your belly?___o. I just thought it would look cool_Do you have any piercings?___ctually, I do,_ Heeb replied.__here?___y appendix.___uh?___ wanted to be the first guy with a pierced organ. And the appendix is a totally useless organ anyway, so I figured why the hell not?___hat__ pretty original,_ she replied, amused.__h yeah. I__e outdone every piercing fanatic out there. The only problem is when I have to go through metal detectors at the airport.__ngelina burst into laughs again, and then managed to say, __on__ you have to take it out occasionally for a cleaning?___ah. I figure I__l just get it removed when my appendix bursts. It__l be a two for one operation, if you know what I mean.

Lord John: 'The court has suffered most sorely for your absence. We hardly know where to find our amusement now.' Lady Nora: 'I am sorry to hear that, I suppose it takes some wit to produce one's own entertainment. Are you often bored?

Nothing like a bit of flattery to grease the wheels.

If in doubt, cheese has been always the answer..

People change. Sometimes I think they don't know they're changing until it's already happened, though. You get so used to being one person, it's weird when you wake up and everything is different.

Sometimes things need shaking up. You__e got to test the limits.

Sometimes we have to try on a few different personalities before we found ourselves.

There are few things more discomfiting than a spontaneous outburst of genuine decency from someone you__e determined to dislike for no good reason.

Anna gave her that disjointed look with which so many people regarded Hannah, as if they has fallen too many words behind to ever catch up.

Ryker, you ride with Orlando,_ Ryker mocked in a snarky voice as he turned to the other man. He gestured toward the Pinto with a look of revulsion on his rugged face. __ow the hell does he expect both of us to fit into that tiny metal trap? Even if we could squeeze in, the tires will probably pop. In fact, let's just carry it over. It'll be faster that way.

I wonder why Steven wasn__ at swimming club tonight?_ Archie asked. __e__ caught bronchitis,_ Mrs Akran said. Imran thought for a second before replying. __ would like to catch a dinosaur too. I wonder what he feeds it?_ Archie looked at his friend his face looked as if he was in pain before he burst out laughing. __mran you__e tragic. Bronchitis is like a bad cold it__ not a type of dinosaur.

Q: When did you realize you wanted to be a w

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn__ that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

Forgive me for saying so, Your Highness," Clarissa said slowly, "but for one as unaccustomed to good deeds as you, perhaps it would be best if you started with one on a smaller scale. Something like, I don't know, spreading bread crumbs for birds?""Birds?" Valentina stared at Clarissa as if she had sprouted wings and would fly off. "Why on earth would I wish to feed birds?""It was just a thought," Clarissa murmured.

No more tubs for me." I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. "They make me lose all sense."Curran sprawled on the bed with a big self-satisfied smile. "Want to know a secret?""Sure.""It's not the bathtub, baby."Well, aren't we smug. I picked up the corner of the lowest mattress and made a show of looking under it."What are you looking for?""A pea Your Majesty.""What?""You heard me."I jumped back as he lunged and his fingers missed me by an inch."Getting slow in your old age.""I thought you liked it slow."A flashback to last night mugged me and my mind executed a full stop.He laughed. "Ran out of snappy comebacks?""Hush. I'm trying to think of one.

So...Now that we got that over with, let's get back to love at first sight, Evan said. Not infatuation at first sight...Love. With a capital L, he clarified.Love? Heeb asked, playfully pretending not to know the concept.Yeah. The real thing. The conviction that if you had this one woman, all other women would become irrelevant. You'd never again be unhappy And you'd give up anything to have her and keep her.You've experienced that?Only once. And I haven't stopped thinking about it ever since.Tell me more.Sometimes I think that I still chase women just to forget about her. Because I know I can never have her. But I can't seem to forget about her, no matter what girl I'm chasing...No one can possibly compare....Who is she?Delilah, Evan said wistfully.Delilah?, asked Heeb, intriguedDelilah Nakova, Evan replied, with a hint of awe and reverence in his voice.

You should find something better to do with your time,_ Mandy told him. __ spend my time shooting people, and then I take them to darkrooms and blow them up.___Come again?_ Alecto questioned with a tone of alarm in his voice. __ take photographs and develop them myself, I__e got my own darkroom_ it was a joke,_ Mandy laughed. __ love photography and I__ gonna be a photojournalist someday.___eally?_ Alecto asked. For the first time since she__ met him, he sounded slightly enthusiastic. __I take photographs and I film my own home movies, I have a darkroom as well_ but I can__ be a photojournalist like you_ I can__ be anything_ still, at least I can take photographs, it__ fun.