funny-quotations

An angry wife can be more frightening than an army of disgruntled soldiers.

Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend until love introduces her to her soulmate.

If you blame gravity for falling in love, even God has the right to laugh at you.

Be calm on your wedding day; she won__ kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.

Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.

The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.

Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.

A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.

Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.

The easiest way to remember your future wife__ birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.

If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.

There is nothing wrong with being a puppet if love is the one pulling the strings.

Money can't buy love, except on Valentine__ Day.

Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.

Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.

Get high on love, not drugs.

An inch to a man__ heart is a mile to his wallet.