pun

People ask me where I got my x-ray powers. I inherited them from my parents in parental supervision. Erase the dots and your doubts if you think that I was 'raysed' alone.

The greatest irony is that people with Rolodexes are no longer LinkedIn. And if that pun doesn't make sense, don__ ask anyone in your Rolodex to explain it.

When we were little," the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, "we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle - we used to call him Tortoise -""Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?" Alice asked."We called him Tortoise because he taught us," said the Mock Turtle angrily: "really you are very dull!

Just when you see a kid selling a mascot,If you don't buy it because he winks, Not only that will be considered a "boycott",Xenophobically, it will also be a jinx!

What did the soup say to the tea plate? "You're too shallow for me. I like deep dish to dip right into!" I still keep my British humour in good taste. No room for egos or rumours.

Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?'Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.'Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.'I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

He that would pun would pick a pocket.

I never knew an enemy to puns who was not an ill-natured man.

Of puns it has been said that those most dislike who are least able to utter them.

I know my rights.""And I know you're wrong.

Homo Cannot Erectus

The doctor's wife ate two apples a day, just to be safe. But her husband kept coming home.

Do you know why they call this place the Rookery?" Elodin asked. I shook my head."Because it's where you go if you're a-ravin'." He smiled a wild smile. He laughed a terrible laugh.

Brody's not gay. But then he kisses a boy. So he might be gay? No, Brody's not gay. But he loves this boy. So after much delaying, debating, and waiting, the answer comes clear...nothing is ever perfectly straight. It's slash.

What happened when the Verb asked the noun to conjugate? She said "no-no!", forgot the "o" and decided to become a nun!

Going to the gym at this odd hour didn't 'work out' for me.