witty

[Lizzie Bennington to a reporter who has asked for her opinion about Jack Archer's celebrated thighs.] __hen you come back from a set down and bring the match to a final set tiebreak and are a point away from winning the match, only to have what looks like an extremely fit player call a time out because of a cramp and then watch that player sit back and casually converse and laugh while you do your best to keep your mental focus and your body moving so you don__ grow cold and cramp yourself, I hardly think you__ concern yourself with his burgeoning manhood, let alone his thighs!

Well, with that filly in my line of vision blushing like a virgin, something in me was bound to stand at attention. And my walking legs were occupied.

I guess it's funny how life turns out?" she tried. "Not last I checked," Errol said with a snort.

It is safer to beg than to take, but it is finer to take than to beg.

yes, i have dated Salvador Dali guy when i was a high school girl. he was a great lover. but i had to dump him because he stole my inspiration of bent clock*~* .... who cares...

When you paint late at night, drinking beer or wine or both, you gotta be very careful to watch what you are doing...

I don't use big words to show off because it's ostentatious.

They were even talking about buying a bodyguard, can you believe it? I mean, what on earth would I look like, turning up with a bodyguard? Actually, I'd look pretty cool and mysterious, wouldn't I? That might have been quite a good idea.

If you worry about missing the boat, remember the Titanic!

I'm going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour." Finbar rolled his eyes. "And they'll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy about other people noticing them.

Did we really come all that way?" She asked. "Time flies when you're scared out of your mind." He answered.

I may just be on the outskirts of being okay.

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French.

Is that the biggest favor your vocal cords have done to anyone this week?

Which just goes to show, I guess, that dinner parties are like everything else - not as fragile as we think they are.

(About a cookbook...)- What about this one? Maids of Honor?- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.

Well I'm not going to hope that you get hurt, but if you do, remember that you're my damsel in distress, and no one is allowed to carry you.""I don't remember signing a contract.""All the more reason to promise me now.""What if you're not around when I get hurt?""Send word, I`ll come running.""How big an injury does it have to be? Because sometimes I do this thing when I stand up too quickly and my ankle kind of twists a little---""Sounds serious. You don't want to put any weight on that. I`d better carry you the next time that happens.""What if I skin my knee?""I`ll carry you.""Charley horse?""I`ll carry you.""Chipped toenail?""Not worth taking a risk. I`ll carry you.

Dead yet?" Gus answered.I smirked. "Not yet, but the night's still young.""Here's hoping.