sports

When I see joggers go by I shout "Jim Fixx is dead. Fats Domino lives!"

I asked my instructor how I could cut ten strokes off my score. He told me to quit on hole 17!

I play in the low eighties. If it's any hotter than that I won't play.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

If you watch a game it's fun. If you play it it's recreation. If you work at it it's golf.

I want you all to line up in alphabetical order according to your size.

I used to want to shoot my age. Now I would just like to shoot my temperature.

They X-rayed my head and found nothing.

My golf has really improved even though my score hasn't. I'm missing the ball much closer now.

I'm not playing with my brother-in-law today. Would you play with a man who improves his lie and cheats on his score? Well neither would he!

I get confused with all the rules in golf. Let's say you're playing in L.A. and your ball lands on a dead body. Is your relief one or two club lengths?

If people focused on life's really important matters there'd be a shortage of golf clubs.

As a woman I resent the fact that in golf if I have the highest score I'm the loser.

He who has the fastest cart never has a bad lie.

Go jogging? And get hit by a meteor?

My golf is getting better all the time. Today I parred all but sixteen holes.

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball he can't hit that far.

Golf is not a matter of life or death. It is much more important than that.