joke

You said "Hi", I to be polite will say "Bye"!

Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.

Trying to be offensive for the sole purpose of being offensive should always deem one the least offensive of offenders.

A good joke doesn__ necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one__ own deserving jokes.

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.

I'm financially ugly.

I'll only go if there's cake.~Tobias "Four

Then she called Gansey.It rang twice, three times, and then: "Hello?"He sounded boyish and ordinary. Blue asked, "Did I wake you up?"She heard Gansey fumble for and scrape up his wireframes."No," he lied, "I was awake.""I called you by accident anyway. I meant to call Congress, but your number was one off.""Oh?""Yeah, because yours has 6-6-5 in it." She paused. "Get it?""Oh, you.""6-6-5. One number different. Get it?""Yeah, I got it.

Two-thirds of all preachers, doctors and lawyers are hanging on to the coat tails of progress, shouting, whoa! while a good many of the rest are busy strewing banana peels along the line of march.

Have you heard the joke about the chemist, physicist and economist who get wrecked on a desert isle, with a huge supply of canned baked beans as their only food? The chemist says that he can start a fire using the neighbouring palm trees, and calculate the temperature at which a can will explode. The physicist says that she can work out the trajectory of each of the baked beans, so that they can be collected and eaten. The economist says "Hang on guys, you're doing it the hard way. Let's assume we have a can opener.

And what if the other kids laugh at me?_ Kerry complained to her parents as she nibbled on a piece of toast that morning. __ have a Cape Breton accent! They__l know I__ from Canada and they__l start asking me if I lived in an igloo or ate maple syrup, bacon and seal meat every day!___ou__e really overreacting,_ Susan chuckled, sipping on a glass of orange juice. __anada is a lot like the States and the only thing separating both countries is an imaginary boarder! If anyone laughs at you, tell them it doesn__ snow year-round, you got free health care while you were there and that you never rode a polar bear to school. Besides, do you know how many popular movies and TV shows from the States were filmed in Canada?___t__ not just the Canada stuff mom,_ Kerry sighed worriedly. ____ from Dym, it__ an industrial dump!___eah, and have you looked at Pittsburgh lately?_ Susan asked. __ull of coal mines and steel mills, just like Sydney was when we lived there! I actually rather came to like the pollution, I don__ think I__ ever want to leave it.

When we perceive aliens as a joke to be laughed at,they feel so pity for us on the success of their plans.

Ugh!' snarled the Wolf, as he limped through the brushwood with his tail between his legs, 'this is perfectly monstrous weather. Why doesn't the Government look to it?

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime.

My girlfriend and I just had make-up sex. We both wore make-up.

Dat's a some joke, Hey Boss.

Everybody laughed for a long time, for it was the kind of joke that seemed to grow on you. You would laugh and eventually stop. But after a few minutes you would think of the joke again, and you would burst out laughing all over again.

You can't draw lines in the sand like that. Humour's a tsunami that doesn't care about your little lines.