humor-quotes

Humor is complete intelligence.

Live life to the fullest or foolest.

Humor is a tool to ease the harsh realities of life.

All I have is me, myself and I and we are all getting really tired of each other.

Casting a curious gaze down on planet Earth, extra-terrestrial beings could well be forgiven for assuming that we humans are programmed in every move we make, by a palm-sized, oblong, slab of glass. More perplexing than that, who on earth could convince them otherwise ?

Men like to borrow kisses because they know they will have to pay them back.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend until love introduces her to her soulmate.

If you blame gravity for falling in love, even God has the right to laugh at you.

Be calm on your wedding day; she won__ kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.

Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.

The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.

Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.

A kiss is the only thing you can throw at someone without being held criminally responsible.

Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.

The easiest way to remember your future wife__ birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.

If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.

There is nothing wrong with being a puppet if love is the one pulling the strings.

Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.