funny-quotations

The world__ most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.

In my book an erection constitutes personal growth.

Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.

If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man.

By studying human history, we can realize how much of human stupidity has fallen on fertile ground. Is gravity guilty for such an occurrence too?

My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she__l end up taking over.

Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.

A mother__ eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.

The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.

Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you__e right.

Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.

She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.

When I was young, I believed God was a woman because I couldn't come up with any other explanation as to why the universe was so tidy.

A man who boasts he's the head of the home must never forget the woman is the knife at his throat.

If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.

Nice guys finish last but bad guys don't finish at all.

Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.

The fastest way to end an argument with your wife is to admit she__ right.