funny-humor

My imaginary pal up there, Mr. NOT, tells me it's my dog-damn ism to kick your illusory he-man's ass. Now, what do you say to that?

Remember, you are as dispensable as the most indispensable king of kings, the mighty lord of silly worldly men.

Do not believe in a god who is as silly, and meaner than you. For, that would surely be your higher-self, and your stupid alter-ego.

Were I but perfectly normal, I would just not be.

Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.

Punctuation was, it is sad to say, invented a very long time ago. Even more frustrating, it has remained with us ever since.

I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it.

Jason smiled and took a sip of his coke before responding. ____ not sure how to reply to that. I thought about just giving you a nasty look. But I see you already have one.

Never make eye contact with a stranger when you__e having a churro.

I'm fascinated by idiots... Here's looking at you, kid!

Care to explain?_ Ari asked.__idn__ you see my signals?___eah. But they didn__ make sense. Five into one and it__ an intrusion.___t__ an illusion! Five of them are an illusion.___hat__ not the signal for illusion. This is._ Ari demonstrated the proper signal.__hat__ what I did.___o, you didn__. You did a weird twisty thing with your pinky.___ had a scimitar at my throat. I__ like to see you try signaling under those conditions._-Janco and Ari bickering

MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?ME: MATH.

Connor and Cameron look wide-eyed at the carnage. Cameron slowed the speedboat down to a crawl. She and Connor looked at Jason.__ops,_ Jason said meekly. Nothing else seemed appropriate.__ops?_ Connor shouted. __ou blew up half the town.

Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes.

I never knew, apes talk. Apparently, you do.

Hey, religious nuts! Please do not grow up. Just go up!

Please follow these instructions:1. Stack the pages of this letter neatly. 2. Roll the pages up into a cylinder. 3. Smack yourself over the head with it. 4. Repeat. You complete ass.

Monkeying around with other apes, a monkey was made - called, HUMAN. God is great!