humourous-quote

It sounded somewhat doom-laden, so I felt obliged to look it up more thoroughly, in case I should eat some chocolate rather quickly.

I love you silly 'holy' book. Here's hoping everybody un-reads it.

Life is easy. Just stay un-dead.

I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt.

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.

How initially 'to get her in the sack' and subsequently to avoid 'her giving you the sack' are not identical dilemmas faced by the male species, but they sure have a bizarre habit of being bedfellows

Who's possessing who now, Casper?

Yesterday I bought myself a new, very sharp kitchen knife.And I managed to cut my finger within 5 minutes of getting home!Those plastic packages are bloody dangerous!!!

Help yourself with the state! It's on democracy!

But it is infamous that they have not told you!_ declared Eustacie. __e n__n reviendrai jamais!___f it__ all the same to you, miss, I__ just as soon you__ talk in a Christian language,_ said Mr. Stubbs.

There are a number of rules that should be observed when one meets royalty, ranging from what one can say and when, to where one should stand, when one can sit, even where one should look. Sindy bobbed a nervous curtsy and, before being introduced, blurted out an invitation to come inside whilst looking John directly in the eye.

The decker these ***holes brought with them is top tier, but I'm going to stomp his jelly beans so hard his kids will be born crooked.

Casting a curious gaze down on planet Earth, extra-terrestrial beings could well be forgiven for assuming that we humans are programmed in every move we make, by a palm-sized, oblong, slab of glass. More perplexing than that, who on earth could convince them otherwise ?

Some of them screamed. Some of them wept. Some of them grinned like LSD was a blast. A case officer said John Stanton hatched the idea - lets flood Cuba with this shit before we invade. Langley co-signed the brainstorm. Langley embellished it: Let's induce mass hallucinations and stage the second coming of Christ!!!! Langley found some suicidal actors. Langley dolled them up to look like J.C. Langley had them set to pre-invade Cuba concurrent with the dope saturation. Peter howled. The case officer said, 'It's not funny.' A drug-zorched peon whipped out his wang and jacked off.

Dead people are just great. Meet me when you are.

Be calm on your wedding day; she won__ kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.

If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.

I'm fascinated by idiots... Here's looking at you, kid!