autism

we match,_ I say, and as soon as the words are out I already know that tomorrow will come and I will remember this moment and wince. We match?? And so, even through this drunken haze, I feel relief when he doesn__ laugh at me. Instead he squeezes me a little tighter, brings me a tiny bit closer so my edges are against his edges, and it__ all warm. Our bodies fit. I secretly sniff him, and get rewarded with his fresh lemony scent

I try to think of other things. David__ hand in mine. That was nice. Innocent, friendly hand-holding. I think of his tape measure. And his haircut. I think about what it might be like to kiss him. Not that I really think of him that way-like a boyfriend or even just some hookup-but still I imagine kissing him would feel good. A true thing. A real thing. I imagine he tastes like honesty.

Will you think about the kissing?_ he asks, and I laugh again and mimic his shrug. If only he knew how much I think about the kissing. __ill you reconsider hand-holding?_ he asks, instead of answering, I move my arm so it__ next to his, so we are lined up, seam to seam. He reaches out his pinky finger and links it around mine and a warm, delicious chill makes its way up my arm. We stay that way for a minute, in a pinky swear, which feels like the smallest of promises. And then I grab his whole hand and link his fingers in mine. A slightly bigger promise. Or maybe a demand: Please be part of my tribe. It__ pretty simple, really. For once, things are not complicated. Right now, right here, it__ just us, together, like this. Palm to palm. The most honest of gestures. One of the ways through. Maybe the best one.

I liked holding David__ hand, though. That part-the snow dampening my face, letting my tears mix without anyone seeing, his fingers snug in mine-that was nice. His hand was heavier than I would have guessed. More solid. Like he could keep me from flying away.

We don__ talk on the ride home. We don__ have to. I feel warm and giddy and like I have a secret that I want to keep all to myself. David Drucker, who is so many different people all at once: the guy who always sits alone, the guy who talked quantum physics even in my dad__ dental chair, the guy who held my hand in the snow. I kissed David Drucker, the guy I most like to talk to, and it was perfect.

I am kissing David Drucker. I am kissing David Drucker. I am kissing David Drucker. I Was wrong. I had assumed this would be his first kiss, that it would be fumbling and a bit messy but still fun. No way. Can__ be. This guy knows exactly what he__ doing. How to cradle the back of my head with his hands. How to move in soft and slow, and then pick up the pace, and then slow down again. How to brush my cheeks with even smaller kisses, how to work his way down my jaw, and to soften the worry spot in the center of my brow. How to pause and look into my eyes, really look, so tenderly I feel it all the way down in my stomach. He even traces the small zigzag scar on my eyebrow with his fingertips, like it__ something beautiful. I could kiss him forever. I__ going to kiss him forever.

Is autism a disease?If a woman asked me right now, __ut wouldn__ you rather be cured?_ I__ reply, __ould you like to be cured of being a woman?__utism, like womanhood, is painful, and difficult, and not made easy by the structure of our society. But it is who we are.There are treatments that can make certain aspects easier, yes. But there is no whole cure because there is no whole disease.Some women take birth control to reduce the effects of PMS or PMDD, to stop their bodies from being so at odds with the world, to make living just a little more easy, a little more comfortable. But it is not for every woman, it does not change the fact that they are a woman, and it does not change the sexism that they face every day, all the problems that result from the fact of society being built to serve people who are not them.I__ like treatments for autistic people to be seen in the same light. Medicine__ priority should be to improve quality of life, not to make a person more palatable to society.Society must be forced to deal with these people because these people will not be easily consigned to oblivion.

Stop assuming I don't have any emotions. My inner thoughts might not be easily seen on my face. I do think and feel.

Life-transforming ideas have always come to me through books._ - Bell Hooks

A small step forward . . .every . . single . . .day. The sun is coming up and I am wondering, 'What wondrous thing shall I witness today?

You have a healthy baby boy! The words ring like church bells in the ears of new parents.

Autism is just the surface. What is inside each of us is what matters, autistic or not.

Then the dreaded words, Your child has autism. These words echo in their heads like a freight train blasting through their hopes and dreams.

I go to all the appointments. All the meetings. I sit with the team of inclusion teachers, occupational therapists, doctors, social workers, remedial teachers, and the cab driver that gets him from appointment to appointment, and I push for everything that can be done for my autistic boy. But I will never have a plan that will fix him. Noah is not something to be fixed. And our life will never be normal. And people always say, oh well what__ normal, there__ no such thing really, and I say _ sure there is_there__ a spectrum_ and there__ lots and lots of possibilities within that spectrum, and trust me buddy, ducks on the moon ain__ one of them_.but _.In this abnormal life, I get to live with a pirate, and a bird fancier, and an ogre, and a hedgehog, and many many superheroes, and aliens and monsters _ and an angel. I get to go to infinity and beyond.

Understanding the intricacies involved in raising someone with a physical or mental challenge for those who have never experienced it is like trying to understand anything foreign; impossible, though definitely worth doing anyway.

Don't be sad that I'm autistic. Love me for who I am. All of me. Some things are difficult for me but I'm okay as I am.

The electrical, electronics and wireless radio frequency (RF) industries are creating an increasingly high radiation environment for the human. This is comparable to the elevated radiation environment found at high altitudes and smart health researchers would be wise to contrast high altitude diseases to the epidemics of our time, such as Autism, Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Fibromyalgia, Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity (EHS), and so on.

I sometimes shock the people around me with how I see things. I come up with very unique solutions to things. As I can picture things in my mind and move them around to design and understand them.