masturbation

Some men do not know the father of 'their' children.

A man cannot really be called (sexually) confident if he has never bought his woman a vibrator.

Some women have been faking orgasms for so long that they sometimes fake one when they are masturbating.

Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate.

We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough.

Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?

Today I will masterbate!Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!

Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand.

The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories_ and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.

I think I know what he is REALLY doing in there... and thinking about ME while doing it." (continuing) "But when he thinks of me, he thinks: sister! Think: Byblis! BYBLIS! I don't think of him as my brother, I think of him as CAUNUS!

Regard yourself as a small corporation of one. Take yourself off on team-building exercises (long walks). Hold a Christmas party every year at which you stand in the corner of your writing room, shouting very loudly to yourself while drinking a bottle of white wine. Then masturbate under the desk. The following day you will feel a deep and cohering sense of embarrassment.

Reading - like masturbation - is something you do alone and very little in life brings more pleasure.

I peer through the spectral, polluted, nicotine-sodden windows of my sock at these old lollopers in their kiddie gear. Go home, I say. Go home, lie down, and eat lots of potatoes. I had three handjobs yesterday. None was easy. Sometimes you really have to buckle down to it, as you do with all forms of exercise. It's simply a question of willpower. Anyone who's got the balls to stand there and tell me that a handjob isn't exercise just doesn't know what he's talking about. I almost had a heart-attack during number three. I take all kinds of other exercise too. I walk up and down the stairs. I climb into cabs and restaurant booths. I hike to the Butcher's Arms and the London Apprentice. I cough a lot. I throw up pretty frequently, which really takes it out of you. I sneeze, and hit the tub and the can. I get in and out of bed, often several times a day.

In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there__ no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities.

In the nineteenth century, girls who learned to develop orgasmic capacity by masturbation were regarded as medical problems. Often they were 'treated' or 'corrected' by amputation or cautery of the clitoris or 'miniature chastity belts,' sewing the vaginal lips together to put the clitoris out of reach, and even castration by surgical removal of the ovaries. But there are no references in the medical literature to the surgical removal of testicles or amputation of the penis to stop masturbation in boys.In the United States, the last recorded clitoridectomy for curing masturbation was performed in 1948-- on a five-year-old girl.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving. All the food's in the oven. And I'm in the bedroom performin' self lovin'.

Some people masturbate to temporarily replace their partners when they are absent, whereas some people do that to temporarily live in the present.

That's all anyone has, and it's always brief, although, of course, some people believe they have a past where they can accumulate things and a future where they will accumulate still more. By the way, speaking of the present moment, do you masturbate a lot?