complicated-relationship

It__ complicated. He__ not_' Human? 'He__ playing hard to get.

When thinking is overrated And friends are easy to make, Check if it's too complicated Knowing yourself somehow... Inner peace's not hard to take, Never lost or underestimated. Get out of social media... NOW!

LOVE, is the most powerful thing that makes my world turn upside down.

Breaking the circle__y eyes darken when I see my new lover. Fresh prey.My body doesn__ really react in a sexual way.It__ the devil inside me that celebrates next conquest.We exchange meaningless sweet words.His hungry gaze penetrates my breasts and ass.Another drink and laughter.And then another one.Sometimes I get very drunk or high.And then I don__ feel him between my legs.I don__ see his sweating face.I don__ hear his moans and questions if I came.I can__ stay sober when I cheat on you.I__ such a coward that I can__ even face this inner monster.It consumes me, it takes away my dignity. It makes me do horrible things.It hurts you, the only one who ever loved me.Who knows what I really am.No. It__ not the monster. It__ me. I am the whore.I dig my nails into your soft flesh until it bleeds.I am the one pushing you away, feasting on your kindness. I blame those hard punches of my past for my infidelity. Those cruel hands. Those hateful words. I try not to, I really do. I try to be a better person.But how can I if I am just nobody?You know why I leave. Yet you stay. You__e there when I__ back.With your sorrow and cry and resentment and wrath.Why?If I__ broken because of my pain what__ your excuse?Why do you keep letting me treat you like a stray dog?Don__ you have any respect for yourself?What the fuck is wrong with you?And just when I think I have my own slave for life you break the circle. You shut the door with a grimace of relief.You can__ look at me anymore. See, you__e finally free!My inner innocent girl is happy for you. But the monster inside kicks and laughs at me.I__ left alone.I dress up and go hunting.

I find I'm unable to speak, unable to move, snared in his serious gaze like some kind of frightened rabbit

I must say that my father is innocent. I should say it. I have to say it. I__ obliged to say it. My father will kill me if I don__ say he is innocent. The children of murderers cannot kill the father.

When seeing the simple truth means recognizing that we're in sin, we would rather see things as being complicated.

My relationship with him was defined by these complex emotions, this mixture of gratitude and resentment.

His moods changed minute to minute, and Jan could change him quicker than anyone. The more he loved her the more mixed up he got. He was such a beautiful man, but so unstable.

The more I lived with Jan, the more I loved her, the more I made her miserable. It was a vicious cycle (page 209)_The more I loved her the more I hated her. And the more she loved me, the more I harmed myself (page 269).