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Breaking the circle__y eyes darken when I see my new lover. Fresh prey.My body doesn__ really react in a sexual way.It__ the devil inside me that celebrates next conquest.We exchange meaningless sweet words.His hungry gaze penetrates my breasts and ass.Another drink and laughter.And then another one.Sometimes I get very drunk or high.And then I don__ feel him between my legs.I don__ see his sweating face.I don__ hear his moans and questions if I came.I can__ stay sober when I cheat on you.I__ such a coward that I can__ even face this inner monster.It consumes me, it takes away my dignity. It makes me do horrible things.It hurts you, the only one who ever loved me.Who knows what I really am.No. It__ not the monster. It__ me. I am the whore.I dig my nails into your soft flesh until it bleeds.I am the one pushing you away, feasting on your kindness. I blame those hard punches of my past for my infidelity. Those cruel hands. Those hateful words. I try not to, I really do. I try to be a better person.But how can I if I am just nobody?You know why I leave. Yet you stay. You__e there when I__ back.With your sorrow and cry and resentment and wrath.Why?If I__ broken because of my pain what__ your excuse?Why do you keep letting me treat you like a stray dog?Don__ you have any respect for yourself?What the fuck is wrong with you?And just when I think I have my own slave for life you break the circle. You shut the door with a grimace of relief.You can__ look at me anymore. See, you__e finally free!My inner innocent girl is happy for you. But the monster inside kicks and laughs at me.I__ left alone.I dress up and go hunting.