Ogden Nash

Certainly there are things in life that money can__ buy, but it__ very funny _ Did you ever try buying them without money.

To keep your marriage brimming,With love in the loving cup,Whenever you're wrong, admit it;Whenever you're right, shut up."~Happy birthday Ogden Nash! (born 8.19.1902)

Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

Everybody who has a baby thinks everybody who hasn't a baby ought to have a baby,Which accounts for the success of such plays as the Irish Rose of Abie,The idea apparently being that just by being fruitfulYou are doing something beautiful,Which if it is trueMeans that the common housefly is several million times more beautiful than me or you.

If you don__ want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won__ have to work.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.