witty

The privacy laws are paramount. They come before even common sense...

'Venti caramel macchiato, please,' he said. 'Hold the snobbery.' The barista laughed and hit buttons on his register. 'You sure? We're having a sale on social mobility. The longer your coffee order takes to place, the more you have to pay.' 'Perfect. Reverse consumerism.'

Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.

Jason smiled and took a sip of his coke before responding. ____ not sure how to reply to that. I thought about just giving you a nasty look. But I see you already have one.

You noticed that I wore this outfit twice? Why, the only thing you wear twice is a sour expression.

A technicality I'm prepared to hide wildly behind.

It is, in the imagination of combat's fans, the divinely listless loveplay that follows the orgasm of victory. It is called 'mopping up.

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.

One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.

The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.

Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile.

Talking to them was like being placed into conversational purgatory, with no hope of being released without significant damage to one's self-esteem.

The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles.

My wit is only as stupid as the audience.

I wasn't used to guys making me blush, and I wasn't sure why he even was making me blush.

I wonder now how we got by when you weren't here.""I have no doubt the devastation was widespread, the suffering universal.""Indeed, it was the Dark Ages in the annals of Mrs. Dawlish's house. Ignorance was thick on the ground, and unenlkghtenment befogged all the windows.

The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists?

Every habit makes our hand more witty, and out wit more handy.