wesley-rush

Look, I__e already fucked you twice. You don__ have to flatter me. Besides, I love my friends way too much to trade them in for the sake of looking hotter.___eriously?___eah. I mean, Casey has been my best friend since, like, forever, and she__ the most loyal person I__e ever met. And Jessica_ well, she has no idea about me and her brother. We weren__ friends back then. In fact, I didn__ want to know her after Jake and I split, but Casey said it would be good for me, and she was right_ as usual. Jessica can be a little ditsy, but she__ the sweetest, most innocent person I know. I could never give either of them up just to look good. That__ make me a real dumbass.___hen they__e lucky to have you.___ just said not to flatter-_____ being honest._ Wesley frowned at the mirror. __ have only one friend-one real friend. Harrison is the only guy who will be seen with me, and that__ because we aren__ trying to attract the same audience, if you know what I mean._ A small smile spread across his lips when he turned to face me. __ost people will do anything to avoid being the Duff.___ell, I guess I__ not most people.

Wow,_ Wesley said. We were lying in his bed only a few minutes after we__ finished, with a foot or more space between our bodies. __ definitely wasn__ expecting that.__od, he ruined everything when he talked. Annoyed, and still wading through the emotional repercussions, I sneered. __hat? Ashamed that you screwed the Duff?___o._ I was surprised by how serious he sounded. ____ never ashamed of anyone I sleep with. Sex is a natural chemical reaction. It always happens for a reason. Who am I to dictate who experiences the joy of sharing my bed?_ He didn__ see me roll my eyes as he continued. __o, I just meant that I__ shocked. I was honestly starting to believe that you hated me.___ do hate you,_ I assured him, kicking off the covers and moving to pick up my clothes.__ou must not hate me too much,_ Wesley said, rolling onto his elbow and watching me dress. __ou did pretty much throw yourself at me. Generally, hatred doesn__ inspire that kind of passion.__ pulled on my T-shirt. __elieve me, Wesley, I definitely hate you. I was just using you. You use people all the time, so I__ sure you understand._ I buttoned my jeans and grabbed my alligator clip from the nightstand. __his was fun, but if you ever tell anyone, I swear I__l castrate you.

I looked at him, into his warm gray eyes, and suddenly understood what he was trying to tell me. The message hidden beneath the

Before he could say my name, I closed the space between us. Quickly, my lips moved against his. The mental and emotional emptiness took over instantly, but physically, I was more alert than ever. Wesley__ surprise didn__ last as long as it had before, and his hands were on me in seconds. My fingers tangled in his soft hair, and Wesley__ tongue darted into my mouth and became a new weapon in our war.Once again, my body took complete control of everything. Nothing existed at the corners of my mind; no irritating thoughts harassed me. Even the sounds of Wesley__ stereo, which had been playing some piano rock I didn__ recognize, faded away as my sense of touch heightened.I was fully conscious of Wesley__ hand as it slid up my torso and moved to cup my breast. With an effort, I pushed him away from me. His eyes were wide as he leaned back. __lease don__ slap me again,_ he said.__hut up.__ could have stopped there. I could have stood up and left the room. I could have let that kiss be the end of it. But I didn__. The mind-numbing sensation I got from kissing him was so euphoric-such a high-that I couldn__ stand to give it up that fast. I might have hated Wesley Rush, but he held the key to my escape, and at that moment I wanted him_ I needed him.Without speaking, without hesitating, I pulled my T-shirt over my head and threw it onto Wesley__ bedroom floor. He didn__ have a chance to say anything before I put my hands on his shoulders and shoved him onto his back. A second later, I was straddling him and we were kissing again. His fingers undid the clasp on my bra, and it joined my shirt on the floor.I didn__ care. I didn__ feel self-conscious or shy. I mean, he already knew I was the Duff, and it wasn__ like I had to impress him.I unbuttoned his shirt as he pulled the alligator clip from my hair and let the auburn waves fall around us. Casey had been right. Wesley had a great body. The skin pulled tight over his sculpted chest, and my hands drifted down his muscular arms with amazement.His lips moved to my neck, giving me a moment to breathe. I could only smell his cologne this close to him. As his mouth traveled down my shoulder, a thought pushed through the exhilaration. I wondered why he hadn__ shoved me-Duffy-away in disgust.Then again, I realized, Wesley wasn__ known for rejecting girls. And I was the one who should have been disgusted.But his mouth pressed into mine again, and that tiny, fleeting thought died. Acting on instinct, I pulled on Wesley__ lower lip with my teeth, and he moaned quietly. His hands moved over my ribs, sending chills up my spine. Bliss. Pure, unadulterated bliss.Only once, as Wesley flipped me onto my back, did I seriously consider stopping. He looked down at me, and his skilled hand grasped the zipper on my jeans. My dormant brain stirred, and I asked myself if things had gone too far. I thought about pushing him away, ending it right where we were. But why would I stop now? What did I stand to lose? Yet what could I possibly gain? How would I feel about this in an hour_ or sooner?Before I could come up with any answers, Wesley had my jeans and underwear off. He pulled a condom from his pocket (okay, now that I__ thinking about it, who keeps condoms in their pockets? Wallet, yes, but pocket? Pretty presumptuous, don__ you think?), and then his pants were on the floor, too. All of a sudden, we were having sex, and my thoughts were muted again.

If I tell Dad he has a problem, he__l think I hate him. How can I hurt him more? He just lost everything.__esley shook his head. __ot everything. He didn__ lose you,_ he said. __t least not yet. If you don__ talk to him, he__l just end up driving you away, and then he will be in far worse pain.

Don__ pretend, Bianca,_ he said. __ou__e smarter than that, and so am I. I finally figured out what you meant when you left. You said you were like Hester. I get it now. The first time you came to my house, when we wrote that paper, you said Hester was trying to escape. But everything caught up with Hester in the end, didn__ it? Well, something finally caught up with you, but you__e just running away again. Only, he_-Wesley pointed to my bedroom door-__s your escape this time._ He took a step toward me, forcing me to crane my neck even more to see his face. __dmit it, Duffy.___dmit what?___hat you__e running away from me,_ he said. __ou realized you__e in love with me and you bailed because it scared the shit out of you.

Wesley was playing Soulcalibur IV. And because I__ a glutton for punishment, I__ challenged him.My God, I had to find something I could beat him at!And you know, something about beating the shit out of an animated character really made me feel better. Before I knew it, I wasn__ even worried about Mom or Dad. Things would be okay. They had to be. I just had to be patient and let things happen. And in the meantime, I had to kick Wesley__ ass_ or try, at least.

Don__ ask where I got this idea, because I couldn__ tell you, but I knew precisely where we were going, and I was sure that this might officially make me a slut. But when we reached the door of the unused janitor__ closet, I had no feeling of shame_ not yet, at least.I grasped the doorknob and noticed Wesley__ eyes narrow with suspicion. I yanked open the door, checked that no one was watching, and gestured for him to go inside. Wesley walked into the tiny closet, and I followed, shutting the door stealthily behind us.__omething tells me this isn__ about The Scarlet Letter,_ he said, and even in the dark I knew he was grinning.__e quiet.__his time he met me halfway. His hands tangled in my hair and mine clawed at his forearms. We kissed violently, and my back slammed against the wall. I heard a mop-or maybe a broom-topple over, but my brain barely registered the sound as one of Wesley__ hands moved to my hip, holding me closer to him. He was so much taller than me that I had to tilt my head back almost all the way to meet his kiss. His lips pressed hard against mine, and I let my hands explore his biceps.The smell of his cologne, rather than the lonely, stale air of the closet, filled my senses.We wrestled in the darkness for a while before I felt his hand insistently lifting the hem of my T-shirt. With a gasp, I pulled away from the kiss and grabbed his wrist. __o_ not now.___hen when?_ Wesley asked in my ear, still pinning me to the wall. He didn__ even sound winded.I, on the other hand, struggled to catch my breath. __ater.___e more specific.__ squirmed out of his arms and moved toward the door, nearly tripping over what felt like a bucket. I raised a hand to flatten my wavy hair and reached for the doorknob. __onight. I__l be at your house around seven. Okay?_ But before he could answer, I slipped out of the closet and hurried down the hall, hoping it didn__ look like a walk of shame.

I couldn__ resist the urge to reach over to the gearshift and put my hand over Wesley__. His skin was warm and soft, and I could feel his pulse throbbing steadily beneath my palm. I forgot about my stupid car and my fight with Casey. I just wanted Wesley to smile again. Even that cocky grin would have worked. I hated that he was so hurt by the possibility of losing his sister__ respect. I wanted to comfort him. I cared abou

Why are you here, Wesley?___ told you,_ he said. __ got worried. You__e been avoiding me for the past week at school, and when I called you today, you didn__ answer. I thought something might have happened with your dad. So I came to make sure you were okay.__ bit my lower lip, a wave of guilt washing over me. __hat__ sweet,_ I murmured. __ut I__ fine. Dad apologized for the other night, and he__ going to AA meetings now, so___o you weren__ going to tell me?___hy would I?___ecause I care!_ Wesley yelled. His words crashed into me, stunning me for a second. ____e been worried about you since you left my house a week ago! You didn__ even say why you left, Bianca. What was I supposed to do? Just assume you would be all right?___od,_ I whispered. ____ sorry. I didn__-_____ worrying about you, and you__e fucking that pretentious little-!___ey!_ I shouted. __on__ bring Toby into this.

Without warning, Wesley lifted me up onto the pool table. His hands moved to my shoulders, and a second later, I was flat on my back, staring up at him as he smirked. He shifted so that he was on the table too, leaning over me with his face only inches from mine.__n the pool table?_ I said, narrowing my eyes at him. __eriously?___ can__ resist,_ he said. __ou know, you__e pretty sexy when you__e pissed at me, Duffy.__irst, I was struck by the irony of that statement. I mean, he used sexy and Duffy-implying I was fat and ugly-in the same sentence. The contrast was almost laughable. Almost.

See!_ Dad yelled. __oys don__ stay with whores, Bianca. They leave them. And I__ not going to let you turn into a whore. Not my daughter. This is for your own good.__ looked up as he reached a hand down to grab my arm. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting to feel his fingers clamp around my forearm.But they never did.I heard a loud thud, and Dad grunted in pain. My eyes flew open. Wesley moved away from Dad, who was massaging his jaw with a shocked look on his face. __hy you little shithead!___re you all right?_ Wesley asked, kneeling in front of me.__id you just punch my dad?_ I couldn__ help but wonder if I was delirious. Had all of this really just happened? Totally bizarre.__es,_ Wesley admitted.__ow dare you touch me!_ Dad screamed, but he was having trouble balancing enough to approach us again. __ow dare you fuck my daughter, then hit me, you son of a bitch!____ never heard my father swear like that before.__ome on,_ Wesley said, helping me to my feet. __et__ get out of here. You__e coming with me._ He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close against his warm body, and ushered me out the open door.

I needed something to distract me-anything far away from my parents_ drama-just for a second. And when I saw my chance I didn__ stop to think about how much I__ regret it later. An opportunity sat on the bar stool beside me, and I lunged at it. Literally.I kissed Wesley Rush.One second his hand lay on my shoulder, and his gray eyes rested, for once, on my face, and the next my mouth was on his. My lips were fierce with bottled emotion, and he seemed to tense, his body frozen in shock. That didn__ last very long. An instant later, he returned the aggression, his hands flying to my sides and pulling me toward him. It felt like a battle between our mouths. My hands clawed into his curly hair, tugging it way harder than necessary, and his fingertips dug into my waist.It worked better than punching someone would have. Not only did it help me release the agonizing pressure, but it definitely distracted me. I mean, it__ hard to think about your dad when you__e making out with somebody.And as disturbing as it sounds, Wesley was a really good kisser. He leaned into me, and I tugged at him so hard that he nearly fell off his bar stool. In that moment, we just couldn__ get close enough to each other. Our separate seats seemed like they were miles apart.All of my thoughts vanished, and I became a sort of physical being. Emotions disappeared. Nothing existed but our bodies, and our warring lips were at the center of everything. It was bliss! It was amazing not to think.Nothing! Nothing_ until he screwed it up.

She does know Harrison prefers men, right?___et her have hope,_ I said, smiling to myself.He turned his attention back to me. __es. Hope is good. Bianca, I-_ He grinned wickedly. __ knew you__ give in sooner or later._ He put his hand on my knee and ran it smoothly up my thigh. __ou__e finally going to admit that you love me, aren__ you?__ swatted his hand away. __irst of all,_ I began, __ don__ love you. I love my family and maybe even Casey and Jessica, but romantic love takes years upon years to develop. So I don__ love you. But I will admit, I__e thought a lot about you lately and I definitely have feelings for you_ feelings other than hatred for the most part. And maybe it__ possible-in the future-that I_ could love you._ I hesitated, a little scared of the words that__ just left my mouth. __ut I still want to kill you most of the time.

Where are you going?_ Wesley asked in a semi-sleepy voice.__ome._ I pulled on my jeans. ____e gotta take a shower and get ready for school.__e pushed himself up on one elbow to look at me. His hair was a mess, brown curls falling into his eyes and sticking up in the back. __ou can shower here,_ he offered. __ might even join you if you__e lucky.

And,_ I continued, ____ probably going to be a bitch most of the time. I guarantee I__l find a reason to yell at you almost every day, and don__ be surprised if a few drinks get dumped on you from time to time. That__ just me, and you__e going to have to deal with it. Because I__ not changing for you or anyone else. And I-__esley slid off his bar stool and pressed his lips against mine before the words could get out. My heart pounded as every thought vacated my mind. One of his arms encircled my waist, pulling me as close to him as possible, and his free hand cupped my face, his thumb tracing my cheekbone. He kissed me so passionately I thought we would catch on fire.It wasn__ until after he pulled away, both of us in need of some air, that I could think straight again.__ou jerk!_ I yelled, pushing him away from me. __issing me to make me shut up? God, you__e so obnoxious. I could just throw something at you right now.__esley hopped onto his bar stool with a big grin, and I suddenly remembered him telling me that I was sexy when I was mad at him. Go figure. __xcuse me, Joe,_ he called to the bartender. __ think Bianca wants a Cherry Coke.__espite my best efforts, I smiled. He wasn__ perfect, or even remotely close, for that matter, but, hey, neither was I. We were both pretty fucked up. Somehow, though, that made everything more exciting. Yeah, it was sick and twisted, but that__ reality, right? Escape is impossible, so why not embrace it?Wesley took my hand and laced his fingers with mine. __ou look beautiful tonight, Bianca.

What would you do without me?_ he asked one night. We were tangled in the silky sheets of his gigantic bed. My heart was still pounding as I came down from the high of what we__ just done, and he wasn__ helping matters by putting his lips so close to my ear.__ive a happy_ happy life,_ I murmured. __ might even_ be an optimist_ if you weren__ around.___iar._ He bit my earlobe playfully. __ou__ be absolutely miserable. Admit it, Duffy. I__ the wind beneath your wings.__ bit my lip, but I still couldn__ hold back the laughter-and just as I was finally catching my breath, too. __ou just referenced Bette Midler_ in bed. I__ starting to question your sexuality, Wesley.__esley looked at me with a defiant glint in his eye. __h, really?_ He grinned before moving his mouth back to my ear and whispering, __e both know that my manhood has never been in question_ I think you__e just changing the subject because you know it__ true. I__ the light of your life.___ou_ I struggled for words as Wesley pressed his mouth into the crook of my neck. The tip of his tongue moved down to my shoulder and made my brain get all fuzzy. How was I supposed to argue under these conditions? __ou wish. I__ just using you, remember?__is laughter was muffled against my skin. __hat__ amusing,_ he said, his lips still grazing my collarbone. __ecause I__ pretty sure your ex is out of town by now._ One of his hands slid between my knees. __et you__e still here, aren__ you?_ His fingers began gliding up and down my inner thigh, making it difficult for me to think of a retort. He seemed to like this, because he laughed again. __ don__ think you hate me, Duffy. I think you like me a lot.

You know it__ true.___ven if it is,_ I cried, __hat does it matter? You could sleep with anybody, Wesley. So what if I walk away? So what if I have feelings for you? I was just a screw to you! You would never actually commit to me. You could never commit to anyone, but especially not to Duffy. You don__ even find me attractive.___ullshit,_ he growled, his eyes on my face as he moved closer to me again.He was so close. My back was pressed to the wall, and Wesley stood only inches away. It had only been a week, but it felt like ages since we__ been in this kind of proximity. A shiver ran up my spine as I remembered the way his hands felt on me. The way he__ always made me feel wanted, even if he had called me the Duff. Did he? Did he find me attractive despite the nickname? How? Why?__hen why would you call me that?_ I whispered. __o you know how much it hurts? Every time you call me Duffy, do you know how shitty it makes me feel?__esley looked surprised. __hat?___very time you call me that,_ I said, __ou__e telling me how little you think of me. How ugly I am. God, how can you possibly find me attractive when you put me down all the time._ I hissed the last words through gritted teeth.__ didn__-_ His eyes fell, staring at his shoes for a moment. I could tell he felt guilty. __ianca, I__ sorry._ He looked into my eyes again. __ didn__ mean-_ His hand reached out to touch me.__on__,_ I snapped, shrugging away from him. I slid to the side and stepped away from the wall. I wasn__ going to be cornered. I wasn__ going to let him have the power here. __ust stop, Wesley.__t didn__ matter if some part of him found me attractive. That didn__ change things. I was just another girl he__ slept with. One among many.__ didn__ mean anything to you,_ I told him.__hen why am I here?_ he demanded, turning to face me again. __hy the hell am I here, Bianca?