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liar

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The liar page groups 150 quotes under one canonical topic hub so readers and answer engines can cite a stable source instead of fragmented search results.

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Reality CheckHis lying is not contigent on who you are or what you do. His lying is not your fault. Lying is his choice and his problem, and if he makes that choice with you, he will make it with any other woman he__ with. That doesn__ mean you__e an angel and he__ the devil. It does mean that if he doesn__ like certain things about you, he has many ways to address them besides lying. If there are sexual problems between you, there are many resources available to help you. Nothing can change until you hold him responsible and accountable for lying and stop blaming yourself. The lies we tell ourselves to keep from seeing the truth about our lovers don__ feel like lies. They feel comfortable, familiar, and true. We repeat them like a mantra and cling to them like security blankets, hoping to calm ourselves and regain our sense that the world works the way we believe it ought to. Self-lies are false friends we look to for comfort and protection__nd for a short time they may make us feel better. But we can only keep the truth at bay for so long. Our self-lies can__ erase his lies, and as we__l see, the longer we try to pretend they can, the more we deepen the hurt.

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MAKING THE LIE MAKE SENSE:When denial (his or ours) can no longer hold and we finally have to admit to ourselves that we__e been lied to, we search frantically for ways to keep it from disrupting our lives. So we rationalize. We find __ood reasons_ to justify his lying, just as he almost always accompanies his confessions with __ood reasons_ for his lies. He tells us he only lied because_. We tell ourselves he only lied because_. We make excuses for him: The lying wasn__ significant/Everybody lies/He__ only human/I have no right to judge him.Allowing the lies to register in our consciousness means having to make room for any number of frightening possibilities:_ He__ not the man I thought he was._ The relationship has spun out of control and I don__ know what to do_ The relationship may be over. Most women will do almost anything to avoid having to face these truths. Even if we yell and scream at him when we discover that he__ lied to us, once the dust settles, most of us will opt for the comforting territory of rationalization. In fact, many of us are willing to rewire our senses, short-circuit our instincts and intelligence, and accept the seductive comfort of self-delusion.

SF
Susan Forward

When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal