quips

In uplifting get underneath.

One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.

As old as the itch.

Worthless as wither'd weeds.

In California everyone goes to a therapist is a therapist or is a therapist going to a therapist.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

A hole is nothing at all but you can break your neck in it.

The blind man is laughing at the bald head.

All would live long but none would be old.

Bland as a Jesuit sober as a hymn.

He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.

Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at its best.

Coffee in England is just toasted milk.

Judas needed the money for a sick friend.

You must lose a fly to catch a trout.

It's better to be quotable than to be honest.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.