joke

Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Yo Mama__ so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo Mama__ so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, __orry, no professionals.

Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.

Richard Feynman was fond of giving the following advice on how to be a genius. You have to keep a dozen of your favorite problems constantly present in your mind, although by and large they will lay in a dormant state. Every time you hear or read a new trick or a new result, test it against each of your twelve problems to see whether it helps. Every once in a while there will be a hit, and people will say, 'How did he do it? He must be a genius!

For the advice in a joke is sometimes more useful than the most serious teaching.

UFO is a joke when there ain't mystery in the sky.

I don__ even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell.

Now you are laughing aren't you?? You just came from holiday (AS for me I don't really give a shit from holiday, from walk with friends or whatever..)You are thinking about the one fat guy and you think that you are perfect. - If you are perfect you won't be here transcend people don't have what to achieve they know and they will continue to know everything, it's useless!You have health problems, am I right?You have some buds on places which nobody wants to talk, you think that you are a bigger as a personality - but you smoke (Don't you?? You try to stop it, but again the cigarettes say "Smoke one you will be better, smoke another one you will go to heaven..." - this goes to endless does it??You drink Alcohol - don't ya?I don't have words take a look at yourself you drink for what??? For confidence... oh my god you are fuck fagot aren't you??You smoke, but why I know that chimneys smoke, but you?? Are you chimney, it's a joke! :D :D

Everyone born is on the field of life__ game, but not everyone does wear the jersey of vision! Some people are fair players and others are injury causers; you joke with the later and they hit you down in pain and blood stains!

It is easy to launch a project if you have no clue about the cost and schedule.

Don't let your teeth make you lose respect by permanently keeping them opened for the sake of being friendly.

You should find something better to do with your time,_ Mandy told him. __ spend my time shooting people, and then I take them to darkrooms and blow them up.___Come again?_ Alecto questioned with a tone of alarm in his voice. __ take photographs and develop them myself, I__e got my own darkroom_ it was a joke,_ Mandy laughed. __ love photography and I__ gonna be a photojournalist someday.___eally?_ Alecto asked. For the first time since she__ met him, he sounded slightly enthusiastic. __I take photographs and I film my own home movies, I have a darkroom as well_ but I can__ be a photojournalist like you_ I can__ be anything_ still, at least I can take photographs, it__ fun.

You should write a book," Matrick suggested.Kit snorted. "Who wants to read the self-pitying lamentations of an old revenant?""There's your title right there," said Ganelon.

People will say,"there's heaven and hell", and they take it so serious that they look so sorrowful with penitence. I would rather ask them to show me the route that leads to heaven or hell.

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.