humorous-quotes

Prepare for a radio, for nothing is silent like the grave

There's always room for a unicorn in my life.(i.e. fantasy and imagination)

There is always room in my life for a unicorn.(i.e. fantasy)

Prestidigitation? You've got to be joking. No one says that.

To my fellow authors heed these words with much importance, " It is redundant for a true writer to sell their soul for literary fame, since the soul is a writer's inner voice...

Oh, y'know, magic stuff is full of weird vibrations!" said Dane. "Makes your palm sweat, gives you that pins and needles sensation when you hold it! Maybe something running up your arm." He paused. "Something that isn't a spider or a bug. Something running up your arm that's an invisible sensation. But not an invisible spider. Like an invisible feeling that's pins and needly. Maybe more needles than pins.""Are you sure that's not a heart attack?" said Jaya.

In all of the possible scenarios Kian had envisioned, encountering a lunatic had not been one of them. It just showed him that he could never be completely prepared.

... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.

When men cry, real men, we cry Man Tears. Those are tears made up of actual meat. We basically cry pork chops and steaks. Imagine a steak tearing its way out of your eye. It hurts like hell, which causes more tears. It's a vicious cycle

Of course, thousands of years of traditional masculinity weren't going away without a fight. They lingered in the vestigial memories of men, occasionally challenging a decision to read the directions or wear argyle, hoping for a day when a hurtling piece of space rock will send the world back to a time before the advent of styling gels.

I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'damn, we fucked up'.

Be brave to share your story! Each of our stories, have a golden treasure for a specific need.

Belief is a wonderful way to pass the time until the facts come in.

Wise men don't feel companionless when they are not in the company of their egos.

GPS has saved countless relationships because us men do not like to ask for directions. Now if women could only come with relationship GPS we would be one step closer to world peace.

I__ sure she didn__ mean what she said. Life__ too short to hold grudges._ __o, you just have to organize your time better,_ Elaine said. __ believe in grudges. They help you survive.

You__e going to be trouble, aren__ you?___ot if you give me everything I want.___e__l see.