humorous-quotes

No! I had too many variables! Two of those variables were actually the same variable, so I revised the equation and then it all made perfect sense!" Ada was truly excited. "You seem truly excited, Lady Ada," said Anna cautiously.

Are you sure you have enough sweetener in that? I could offer to conscript the rest of the cubes from the galley for you.

The evidence suggests that you would be more likely to select the tempting chocolate cake when your mind is loaded with digits. System 1 has more influence on behavoir when System 2 is busy, and it has a sweet tooth.

They view New York as Satan's waiting room." "If this is the waiting room, where does the guy reside or work?" "New Jersey, I assume," Kyle said with a smile. "I mean, dude, have you been to Jersey?

One of my favorite quotes is:"... If I strike you it ain't going to be in your fancy.

He had a bushy unibrow that could house a family of quail.

She was called a cook, but there was no real evidence she had even a small amount of ability to do this. Every meal, no matter how much you thought you liked it before, would be ruined forever after having one of Margery__ slop versions of it. Burger and Chips or Lasagne, as Mike liked, were gruesomely murdered by the time Margery had used the ingredients (and added some special ones of her own!) to deliver a pile of gruel. It did not matter what the menu said; when served, it was always green, even if none of the ingredients were actually green!__exxxttt! Hey, you, I said NEXXTT!!!_ she shouted at the violet boy who had hesitated to wonder if life was really worth this. __hat__ your name, boy? Speak up now and tell me which class you are in?_ This was a usual evil method Margery used so children had to give up holding their breath and smell the putrid stench of her sweaty BO mixed with the green muck she scooped from a giant vat beside her. The poor boy nearly passed out when it hit him, but, fortunately, his friend helped him stay up. He quickly grabbed his tray and sloshed his green slush all over as he ran for freedom. NNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXTTTTTTT!!!

They tell you the devil is in the details_what they don__ tell you is that he__ laughing maniacally.

When things are going really well, we should take time to notice it.

I__e been focusing on my career. I__e had no time. That__ why I wanted to go out this weekend. I__e been storing that shit up like a sexual camel. At this point I__ probably just walk into the bar, blow my load all over the room like a fire hose, and walk out.

You have heard about the reindeer that pull old Santa's sled. But mostly I hate Rudolph and wish that he were dead. With his nose of red which we all know just can't be true. I wish someone would just kill him, that someone could be you. He is Santa's favorite and to the front he can be found. Instead of his red nose, "I" think it should be brown. He believes that Santa likes him and thinks that he's a winner. But Santa Claus has other plans he wants Rudolph for his dinner. Old Saint Nick is greedy this I know without a doubt. What else do you think happens to all the great toys we go without?He takes them and he breaks them be cause he doesn't care a bit. To me it doesn't matter, Why, he can keep his "Schict".Yes' it's true that I hate Santa too, dressed in his suit of silk. That's why this year with the homemade cookies, I'm going to leave some poison milk.

It looks like two alpacas fucking, mostly," he said apologetically. "Of course, sometimes, the boy can't get his boy parts past the girl's furry ass, and he needs a little help, so then it looks like two alpacas fucking while their handler's giving the one on top a handjob.

My mom said:__on__ put your finger in your brother__ ear! If you want to know how that quarter trick is done, go ask the magician._ So I tugged on The Great Arturo's pant leg until he finally taught me how. That was my first magic trick! I was five years old.

She looked out and saw a tall and comely woman beckoning to her. Susannah's first look at Mia in the flesh astounded her, because the chap's mother was *white.* Apparently Odetta-that-was now had a Caucasian side to her personality and how that must frost Detta Walker's racially sensitive butt!

Breath, Love, & Lust This is what we live for

I am an existential libertarian humanist cocksucker. Now, what else do you want to know?

Who do I think would appreciate my book?I__ surprised anybody does. Oops, did I say that out loud?

Deep down, he's shallow.