G. I. Gurdieff, "Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson"So-and-so-and-so-must-be; do-not-do-what-must-not-be. Mullah's favorite saying. p. 598
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The best thing to learn from any government is that it does not get affacted by what other people talk or think about it.
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The self can watch itself becoming lazy, or non-watchful; this is an asset that can make both for humor and profound well-being.
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I wake up every morning thinking about all the great things I am going to accomplish that day, and I go to bed every night thinking about all the even greater things I__ going to have to accomplish tomorrow to make up for the nothing I did today.
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I was an abusive, selfish, needy, angry asshole. Now I'm just kind of selfish, a little less angry, occasionally needy, with flights of asshole. I've grown.
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Let me tell you something, honey. When your boobs fall south and that pretty skin of yours looks like you__e been tanning in a nuclear war zone, you__l see what I mean about independence. When the looks are gone, all you__e got left is your spirit, and ya gotta use it until you lose it. That and the occasional sponge bath from Francisco, but soon his ass will be just as wrinkly as mine. Beauty fades, but a strong will keeps ya young and springy.-Miss Velma