funny-and-random

If you want to say, Lucia, there is no inside of the park benches, I won__ argue with you. But, then you have to say where the pigeons come from.

Some people are born to fandom, others have fandom thrust upon them.

Please follow these instructions:1. Stack the pages of this letter neatly. 2. Roll the pages up into a cylinder. 3. Smack yourself over the head with it. 4. Repeat. You complete ass.

She said my glasses made me look like a butch jock's locker room bitch.

I shook my head. __ thought you had a __o princesses_ rule.___ules are made to be broken,_ said Grimm.Ari sat back in the chair, her eyes closed.__f course, young lady, there__ the matter of how we sign our contracts.___ot gonna happen._ Ari threw a pen at the mirror for emphasis.

IN MY DEFENSE, I didn__ mean to start the Apocalypse. It wasn__ just my personal aversion to oblivion; I had a clear financial motive: The end of the world is bad for business.

The sooner the jihadis go up to their imagined #heaven, the sooner our earth would be a heaven.

Hasn__ stopped us before. And besides, if they wanted to kill us, we__ be dead by now and would be having an entirely different conversation. I wonder if I__ still be mad at you, or if we would talk in words or pictures. Maybe in smells. That would be cool._ -Janco

Possibility of enjoying life makes death feel terrible.

Darling Daddy,Poor Saffy. She had a big fight in the boys toilets on Monday, did you know? A very big fight and Sarah helped and it was terrifying. Said a boy in my class who has a brother who was there.Saffy washed her hands and said Never Ever Never Dare You Touch My Brother. (Indigo). And the plug holes were blocked with hair.Love from Rose.-Sarah's mother has given us soup. Soup soup soup and then it was all gone.L.F.R.

The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification

Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything_.but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco

If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator

If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months

Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it

When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service_.that's no chocolate on the pillow

Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub

I bet the very first piñata was surprised. __h, hey a party! Cool! What__ the occa_ HEY, WHAT THE HELL, KID?