feyre

A pulse of surprise, of wicked delight against my mental shields, at the dark, membranous wings I knew were now poking over my shoulders. Every icy kiss of rain sent jolts of cold through me. Sensitive-so sensitive, these Illyrian wings.Lucien backed up at step. "What did you do to yourself?" I gave him a little smile. "The human girl you knew died Under the Mountain. I have no interest in spending immortality as a High Lord's pet

I said to Lucien, low and quiet and as vicious as the talons that formed at the tips of my fingers, as vicious as the wondrous weight between my shoulder blades, "When you spend so long trapped in darkness, Lucien, you find that the darkness starts to stare back

When you spend so long trapped in darkness, you find that the darkness begins to stare back.

For him, I had done this-for him I'd gladly wrecked myself and my immortal soul. And now I had an eternity to live with it.

Maybe I'd always been broken and dark inside. Maybe someone who've been born whole and good would have put down the ash dagger and embraced death rather than what lay before me.

Well, good-bye for now," he said, rolling his neck as if we hadn't been talking about anything important at all. He bowed at the waist, those wings vanishing entirely, and had begun to fade into the nearest shadow when he went rigid.His eyes locked on mine wide and wild, and his nostrils flared. Shock__ure shock flashed across his features at whatever he saw on my face, and he stumbled back a step. Actually stumbled. "What is_" I began.He disappeared__imply disappeared, not a shadow in sight__nto the crisp air.

Why?" I asked. He knew what I meant, and shrugged. "Because when the legends get written, I didn't want to be remembered for standing on the sidelines. I want my future offspring to know that I was there, and that I fought against her at the end, even if I couldn't do anything useful." I blinked, this time not at the brightness of the sun. "Because," he went on, his eyes locked with mine, "I didn't want you to fight alone. Or die alone.

She has the most delicious thoughts about you, Tamlin,_ he said. __he__ wondered about the feeling of your fingers on her thighs__etween them, too._ He chuckled. Even as he said my most private thoughts, even as I burned with outrage and shame, I trembled at the grip still on my mind. Rhysand turned to the High Lord. ____ curious: Why did she wonder if it would feel good to have you bite her breast the way you bit her neck?_ __et. Her. Go._ Tamlin__ face was twisted with such feral rage that it struck a different, deeper chord of terror in me. __f it__ any consolation,_ Rhysand confided to him, __he would have been the one for you__nd you might have gotten away with it. A bit late, though. She__ more stubborn than you are.

I had to keep my hands clenched at my sides to avoid wiping my sweaty palms on the skirts of my gown as I reached the dining room, and immediately contemplated bolting upstairs and changing into a tunic and pants. But I knew they__ already heard me, or smelled me, or used whatever heightened senses they had to detect my presence, and since fleeing would only make it worse, I found it in myself to push open the double doors.Whatever discussion Tamlin and Lucien had been having stopped, and I tried not to look at their wide eyes as I strode to my usual place at the end of the table.__ell, I__ late for something incredibly important,_ Lucien said, and before I could call him on his outright lie or beg him to stay, the fox-masked faerie vanished.I could feel the full weight of Tamlin__ undivided attention on me__n every breath and movement I took. I studied the candelabras atop the mantel beside the table. I had nothing to say that didn__ sound absurd__et for some reason, my mouth decided to start moving.__ou__e so far away._ I gestured to the expanse of table between us. __t__ like you__e in another room.__he quarters of the table vanished, leaving Tamlin not two feet away, sitting at an infinitely more intimate table. I yelped and almost tipped over in my chair. He laughed as I gaped at the small table that now stood between us. __etter?_ he asked.I ignored the metallic tang of magic as I said, __ow _ how did you do that? Where did it go?__e cocked his head. __etween. Think of it as _ a broom closet tucked between pockets of the world._ He flexed his hands and rolled his neck, as if shaking off some pain.__oes it tax you?_ Sweat seemed to gleam on the strong column of his neck.He stopped flexing his hands and set them flat on the table. __nce, it was as easy as breathing. But now _ it requires concentration.__ecause of the blight on Prythian and the toll it had taken on him. __ou could have just taken a closer seat,_ I said.Tamlin gave me a lazy grin. __nd miss a chance to show off to a beautiful woman? Never.

I waited for the fear to hit; waited for my body to shriek to find a way to get out of this dinner, but ... nothing. Maybe it'd be a mercy to be en

So I__ your huntress and thief?_ His hands slid down to cup the backs of my knees as he said with a roguish grin, __ou are my salvation, Feyre.

His lips were smooth against my skin, his breath warm, and my knees buckled as he lifted my other hand to his mouth and kissed it, too. Kissed it carefully - in a way that made heat begin pounding in my core, between my legs.

I couldn__ talk about it, about them__ot yet. So I breathed __ater_ and hooked my feet around his legs, drawing him closer. I placed my hands on his chest, feeling the heart beating beneath. This__ needed this right now. It wouldn__ wash away what I__ done, but _ I needed him near, needed to smell and taste him, remind myself that he was real__his was real.__ater,_ he echoed, and leaned down to kiss me.It was soft, tentative__othing like the wild, hard kisses we__ shared in the hall of throne room. He brushed his lips against mine again. I didn__ want apologies, didn__ want sympathy or coddling. I gripped the front of his tunic, tugging him closer as I opened my mouth to him.He let out a low growl, and the sound of it sent a wildfire blazing through me, pooling and burning in my core. I let it burn through that hole in my chest, my soul. Let it raze through the wave of black that was starting to press around me, let it consume the phantom blood I could still feel on my hands. I gave myself to that fire, to him, as his hands roved across me, unbuttoning as he went.I pulled back, breaking the kiss to look into his face. His eyes were bright__ungry__ut his hands had stopped their exploring and rested firmly on my hips. With a predator__ stillness, he waited and watched as I traced the contours of his face, as I kissed every place I touched.His ragged breathing was the only sound__nd his hands soon began roaming across my back and sides, caressing and teasing and baring me to him. When my traveling fingers reached his mouth, he bit down on one, sucking it into his mouth. It didn__ hurt, but the bite was hard enough for me to meet his eyes again. To realize that he was done waiting__nd so was I.He eased me onto the bed, murmuring my name against my neck, the shell of my ear, the tips of my fingers. I urged him__aster, harder. His mouth explored the curve of my breast, the inside of my thigh.A kiss for each day we__ spent apart, a kiss for every wound and terror, a kiss for the ink etched into my flesh, and for all the days we would be together after this. Days, perhaps, that I no longer deserved. But I gave myself again to that fire, threw myself into it, into him, and let myself burn.

What?__ucien laughed. __es__ll those female faeries around you were females for Tamlin to pick. It__ an honor to be chosen, but it__ his instincts that select her.___ut you were there__nd other male faeries._ My face burned so hot that I began sweating. That was why those three horrible faeries had been there__nd they__ thought that just by my presence, I was happy to comply with their plans.__h._ Lucien chuckled. __ell, Tam__ not the only one who gets to perform the rite tonight. Once he makes his choice, we__e free to mingle. Though it__ not the Great Rite, our own dalliances tonight will help the land, too._ He shrugged off that invisible hand a second time, and his eyes fell upon the hills. __ou__e lucky I found you when I did, though,_ he said. __ecause he would have smelled you, and claimed you, but it wouldn__ have been Tamlin who brought you into that cave._ His eyes met mine, and a chill went over me. __nd I don__ think you would have liked it. Tonight is not for lovemaking.

If she captured Tamlin__ power once, who__ to say she can__ do it again?_ It was the question I hadn__ yet dared voice.__e won__ be tricked again so easily,_ he said, staring up at the ceiling. __er biggest weapon is that she keeps our powers contained. But she can__ access them, not wholly__hough she can control us through them. It__ why I__e never been able to shatter her mind__hy she__ not dead already. The moment you break Amarantha__ curse, Tamlin__ wrath will be so great that no force in the world will keep him from splattering her on the walls.__ chill went through me.__hy do you think I__ doing this?_ He waved a hand to me.__ecause you__e a monster.__e laughed. __rue, but I__ also a pragmatist. Working Tamlin into a senseless fury is the best weapon we have against her. Seeing you enter into a fool__ bargain with Amarantha was one thing, but when Tamlin saw my tattoo on your arm _ Oh, you should have been born with my abilities, if only to have felt the rage that seeped from him.__ didn__ want to think much about his abilities. __ho__ to say he won__ splatter you as well?___erhaps he__l try__ut I have a feeling he__l kill Amarantha first. That__ what it all boils down to, anyway: even your servitude to me can be blamed on her. So he__l kill her tomorrow, and I__l be free before he can start a fight with me that will reduce our once-sacred mountain to rubble._ He picked at his nails. __nd I have a few other cards to play.__ lifted my brows in silent question.__eyre, for Cauldron__ sake. I drug you, but you don__ wonder why I never touch you beyond your waist or arms?__ntil tonight__ntil that damned kiss. I gritted my teeth, but even as my anger rose, a picture cleared.__t__ the only claim I have to innocence,_ he said, __he only thing that will make Tamlin think twice before entering into a battle with me that would cause a catastrophic loss of innocent life. It__ the only way I can convince him I was on your side. Believe me, I would have liked nothing more than to enjoy you__ut there are bigger things at stake than taking a human woman to my bed.__ knew, but I still asked, __ike what?___ike my territory,_ he said, and his eyes held a far-off look that I hadn__ yet seen. __ike my remaining people, enslaved to a tyrant queen who can end their lives with a single word. Surely Tamlin expressed similar sentiments to you._ He hadn____ot entirely. He hadn__ been able to, thanks to the curse.__hy did Amarantha target you?_ I dared ask. __hy make you her whore?___eyond the obvious?_ He gestured to his perfect face. When I didn__ smile, he loosed a breath. __y father killed Tamlin__ father__nd his brothers.__ started. Tamlin had never said__ever told me the Night Court was responsible for that.__t__ a long story, and I don__ feel like getting into it, but let__ just say that when she stole our lands out from under us, Amarantha decided that she especially wanted to punish the son of her friend__ murderer__ecided that she hated me enough for my father__ deeds that I was to suffer.__ might have reached a hand toward him, might have offered my apologies__ut every thought had dried up in my head. What Amarantha had done to him __o,_ he said wearily, __ere we are, with the fate of our immortal world in the hands of an illiterate human.

But Amarantha rolled her eyes and slouched in her throne. __hatter him, Rhysand._ She flicked a hand at the High Lord of the Summer Court. __ou may do what you want with the body afterward.__he High Lord of the Summer Court bowed__s if he__ been given a gift__nd looked to his subject, who had gone still and calm on the floor, hugging his knees. The male faerie was ready__elieved.Rhys slipped a hand out of his pocket, and it dangled at his side. I could have sworn phantom talons flickered there as his fingers curled slightly.____ growing bored, Rhysand,_ Amarantha said with a sigh, again fiddling with that bone. She hadn__ looked at me once, too focused on her current prey.Rhysand__ fingers curled into a fist.The faerie male__ eyes went wide__hen glazed as he slumped to the side in the puddle of his own waste. Blood leaked from his nose, from his ears, pooling on the floor.That fast__hat easily, that irrevocably _ he was dead.__ said shatter his mind, not his brain,_ Amarantha snapped.The crowd murmured around me, stirring. I wanted nothing more than to fade back into it__o crawl back into my cell and burn this from my mind. Tamlin hadn__ flinched__ot a muscle. What horrors had he witnessed in his long life if this hadn__ broken that distant expression, that control?Rhysand shrugged, his hand sliding back into his pocket. __pologies, my queen._ He turned away without being dismissed, and didn__ look at me as he strode for the back of the throne room. I fell into step beside him, reining in my trembling, trying not to think about the body sprawled behind us, or about Clare__till nailed to the wall.The crowd stayed far, far back as we walked through it. __hore,_ some of them softly hissed at him, out of her earshot; __marantha__ whore._ But many offered tentative, appreciative smiles and words___ood that you killed him; good that you killed the traitor.

Tamlin__ arm tightened around me, and he kissed the top of my head. I pulled back, looking up at him.The gold in his eyes, bright with the rising sun, flickered. __hat?___y father once told me that I should let my sisters imagine a better life__ better world. And I told him that there was no such thing._ I ran my thumb over his mouth, marveling, and shook my head. __ never understood__ecause I couldn__ _ couldn__ believe that it was even possible._ I swallowed, lowering my hand. __ntil now.__is throat bobbed. His kiss that time was deep and thorough, unhurried and intent.I let the dawn creep inside me, let it grow with each movement of his lips and brush of his tongue against mine. Tears pricked beneath my closed eyes.It was the happiest moment of my life.

I love you," I said, and stabbed him.