comedy-humor

I am always doing what I thought I couldn't do, because I might learn something. Henri Marcel - Marriage a Journey and A Dog

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.

Today I feel like I did tomorrow.

I__e never quite understood why the knuckleheads of the planet so outnumber the rest of us.

I like big books and I cannot lie.You other readers can__ denyThat when a kid walks in with The Name of the WindLike a hardbound brick of win.Story bling.Wanna swipe that thingCause you see that boy is speedingRight through the book he__ reading.I__ hooked and I can__ stop pleading.Wanna curl up with that for ages,All thousand pages.Reviewers tried to warn me.But with that plot you hookedMe like Bradley.Ooh, crack that fat spine.You know I wanna make you mine.This book is stella __ause it ain__ some quick novella.

A sturdy hold, but I think there's something up with the material.

One day, scientists will overtake LIGHT and crash into the DARKNESS.

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

I love you all - if you are not people!

So, your god is the only god? Okay, but then, so is my dog.

Rivera rubbed his temples. "Satan told you to do it?" he said wearily."No.""Elvis?""I told you, it's supernatural.

The table was covered with food like roast chicken, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, roast turkey, roast liquorice and, the centrepiece, a roasted knight.

Author is the prisoner of his thoughts .

You still are? There go my plans! And the suit I had bought to attend your funeral. Well, well. Anyway, do call me up when you an't.

I like to think I'm not stupid often, tonight proves that when I am, I do it in a big way.

I can fly around the world in one night. I can wink and go up a chimney in a split second. I can be in 500 shopping malls on the same weekend. I can even fit enough gifts for the entire world into one tiny sleigh pulled by eight tiny reindeer, but I CANNOT FIX THIS CONFOUNDED COMPUTER!

Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.

When people get into their 30s plus "boyfriend" sounds weird...if you really think about it. Instead, I think we should universally start using the term "manfriend" or "snookie bookie cuddles pie".