anger-repression

If the parent represses the girl's anger not just once but over and over again, a deeper injury occurs: the girl will eventually dismantle her anger response. Ultimately, it's safer for her to cut off a part of her being than to battle the person on whom her life depends.

The anger response, like the fear response, is a frequent target for repression. Imagine a 6-year-old girl who is angry at her 10-year-old brother for teasing her. In response, she might make an angry face, yell at her brother, and strike out at him with her fists. It__ an instinctual, energizing reaction designed to protect her from danger. Someone is violating her sense of well-being, and she__ afraid that if she doesn__ stop the intruder, she__l get hurt.__ wise parent would validate the girl__ anger____t__ infuriating to be teased____nd help her find a verbal rather than a physical way to express it. __ou are very mad at your brother for teasing you,_ says this model parent, __ would be, too. Tell him in words how angry you feel. He needs to know._ This way, the girl can protect herself from her brother and purge herself of her anger without having to resort to physical violence. Her self-protective anger remains intact. It has simply been given a ore __ivilized_ form of expression.