Is is as if life or reality itself has had it in mind all along to unravel the very design i have been trying all along to impose on it.
The anger response, like the fear response, is a frequent target for repression. Imagine a 6-year-old girl who is angry at her 10-year-old brother for teasing her. In response, she might make an angry face, yell at her brother, and strike out at him with her fists. It__ an instinctual, energizing reaction designed to protect her from danger. Someone is violating her sense of well-being, and she__ afraid that if she doesn__ stop the intruder, she__l get hurt.__ wise parent would validate the girl__ anger____t__ infuriating to be teased____nd help her find a verbal rather than a physical way to express it. __ou are very mad at your brother for teasing you,_ says this model parent, __ would be, too. Tell him in words how angry you feel. He needs to know._ This way, the girl can protect herself from her brother and purge herself of her anger without having to resort to physical violence. Her self-protective anger remains intact. It has simply been given a ore __ivilized_ form of expression.
The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life
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The anger response, like the fear response, is a frequent target for repression. Imagine a 6-year-old girl who is angry at her 10-year-old brother for teasing her. In response, she might make an angry face, yell at her brother, and strike out at him with her fists. It__ an instinctual, energizing reaction designed to protect her from danger. Someone is violating her sense of well-being, and she__ afraid that if she doesn__ stop the intruder, she__l get hurt.__ wise parent would validate the girl__ anger____t__ infuriating to be teased____nd help her find a verbal rather than a physical way to express it. __ou are very mad at your brother for teasing you,_ says this model parent, __ would be, too. Tell him in words how angry you feel. He needs to know._ This way, the girl can protect herself from her brother and purge herself of her anger without having to resort to physical violence. Her self-protective anger remains intact. It has simply been given a ore __ivilized_ form of expression.
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Now, however open a person manages to be, there is one possibility to which he remains as closed as ever: the possibility that when he uncovers his deepest anxieties he will find hidden inside them certain horrifying truths which his whole effort to control his life has been designed to keep repressed.
When we operate on the basis of the will to control, we are aware of only one kind of "evil": the failure of existence to conform to the plan we have for it.
What we work so hard to avoid is the shattering of our lives by horrors we know we will be helpless to control.
Loving my son, building my son, touching my son, playing with my son, being with my son_ these aren__ tasks that only super dads can perform. These are tasks that every dad should perform. Always. Without fail.
Freeze when you are angry: your brain needs time to cleanse the anger!