Laurence J. Peter

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.

Old age is when you know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.

Conscience: That which makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.

Early to bed early to rise work like hell and advertise.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.

He laughs best whose laugh lasts.