Howard Tayler

So you're a fellow mercenary, then.""Does this mean you'll afford me some professional courtesy?""Don't ask for that. All it means is that you might get to face the person who kills you. . . But only if it's convenient.

You're more mean-spirited than I remember you being.""It's this organic body. Hologram fur wasn't itchy.

I'll leave you two alone. Morality might be contagious.

Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'enn they'll be nice?

Maxim 4: Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

That's odd. It looks almost as if Nick is picking a fight with that elephant.""Well, the elephant started it.""That's irrelevant. Fighting with civilians is against the rules. Go break it up."-Admiral Breya Andreyasn & Sergeant Schlock

When the enemy of my enemy is willing to use plasma weapons inside a hotel, I think I can do better than stupid aphorisms, General.-Captain Kevyn Andreyasn

Maxim 16: Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

The Tausennigan Ob'enn warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears?""Yes, they do, and they'd cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation!""I guess that explains their rich military history, then.

Maxim 11: Everything is air-droppable at least once.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

Spy' is such a short ugly word. I prefer 'espionage.' Those extra three syllables really say something.

Kevyn, I'm promoting you from Tech Sergeant to Munitions Commander. I want you to take responsibility for all Company weapons.Munitions Commander? Why me?I don't know. Call it "suspicion of extreme competence" on my part.-Captain Tagon & Commander Kevyn Andreyasn

Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll be immediately extradited and U.N.S. law will take over.""Not guilty.""Also, it's not very nice to lie in court.""But it beats extradition.

Maxim 8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

Hi. I'm here to enlist.You can't. You aren't human.You see, little fella, we don't do sociological stuff like "interspeciated workplaces." We're a crack company of space mercenaries. We do "hurting people" and "breaking things."Sounds like my kind of fun.-Schlock & Lieutenant Der Trihs

Oh, that's great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we'll get a nice explosive package from him that says "so nice to see you again" in a way that only multi-megaton yields can.

Right now I've got just two rules to live by.Rule one: don't taunt elephants.Rule two: don't stand next to anybody who taunts elephants.-Sergeant Schlock

Maxim 37: There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "reload."-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries