Howard Tayler

Maxim 30: A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

Being a mercenary, though... Hey, we just go wherever there's a mixture of money and trouble, and everyone in the galaxy is a potential customer.Even the people you're paid to shoot at?Well, yeah. There are customers we serve, and customers we service.-Captain Kevyn Andreyasn & General Tagon

This document outlines our plan to perpetrate insurance fraud, insider trading, and character assassination....hopefully tripling our paycheck on this job.Okay, see? Those words I understand just fine. Use them more often.-Lieutenant Massey Reynstein & Captain Tagon

Ow. Stop that. It hurts my brain.Isn't your brain distributed through your entire body?See why I want you to stop with the doublethink?-Sergeant Schlock & Captain Tagon

AAAAIIIE!You're the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing!Oh, and I think there's something about other things, and maybe you fix things?-Sergeant Schlock

Welcome to your new bodies, gentlemen. If you'd like, I can help you start your own 'dysmorphia is all in your head' support group.

Ennesby, get the Serial Peacemaker to the beach for dustoff.""Dustoff? You're going to run away from three guys?""No, I'm going to kill or capture those three guys, and then run away from the Police.

Kevyn, Ennesby tells me you are building a time machine.Actually I'm finished.In one afternoon? Wow... Does it work?After a fashion....I put a whole lot of energy into it, and the next thing I knew it was time for dinner.-Captain Tagon & Commander Andreyasn

Maxim 36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

Maxim 6: If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

Technically, you don't pay me.And technically, most of what I do is "think."I...rrr. ummm.And when you get right down to it, I'm better at it than you are.-Ennesby & Captain Tagon

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.Cross it? I'm making plans to destroy the bridge from orbit.-Colonel Ceeta & Captain Tagon

No! Wait! I've got a better idea...""Your ideas tend to result in unnecessary violence, Sergeant Schlock.""And your point is...""Let's broaden the definition of 'necessary'.

Yes, but none of them can steal my ship.None of them are smart enough to know that it was the right thing to do at the time.

How many words are you having trouble with, sir?""Just the ones that I've highlighted.""I count at least a dozen, and I haven't gotten out of the first paragraph.""That's as far as I got, too. I'm not sure you and I speak the same language.

Are you done briefing the company yet?""We, um... Haven't gotten through the introductions yet.""Allow me: Time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, this is the mercenary company "Tagon's Toughs.""Company, this is the time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, who will have become your captain thirty-two hours from now, as of seven weeks ago.Now, quick. Let's go save the galaxy while they're confused.

Two minutes worth of signal analysis told me all I needed to know. This station "talks" to the dark matter universe about what goes on inside.""How did you cobble together a jammer so quickly?""I had one on me.

As long as we only have to lie to the enemy, it's honest enough for me.-Captain Tagon