Ellen DeGeneres

I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things.

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.

Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.

No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.

You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.

...we should be grateful for them because without our family__he ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day__ife is pretty boring.

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.

The word "yoga" literally means "uniting", because when you're doing it you are uniting your mind and your body. You can tell this almost immediately because your mind will be thinking, "Ouch, that hurts," and your body will say, "I know." And your mind will think, "You have to get out of this position." And your body will say, "I agree with you, but I can't right now. I think I'm stuck.

It__ even more awkward when we__e face to face with people. It used to be exciting to make plans with friends because you could sit and catch up and talk about what__ been going on in your lives. Now when you see someone there__ nothing left to say. You__e already seen the pictures from their trip to Rio on Facebook. You__e read their tweets about the latest diet they__e on. And they already texted you about the pregnancy scare. So you end up just sitting and staring at each other until you both start texting other people.

Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.'Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.

Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.

If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything? They should use prisoners who have been convicted of murder or rape instead. So, rather than seeing if perfume irritates a bunny rabbit's eyes, they should throw it in Charles Manson's eyes and ask him if it hurts.

It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.

I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.