Cathy Burnham Martin

No one else __akes_ us do anything. They can__ make us nag them, or make us angry, or make us have to strike out at them, or make us drink alcohol, or make us yell at them, or anything else. We are responsible for our choices, including our responses and reactions.

I am a great believer in not pushing each other__ __uttons_ just because we know where they are! That__ part of trusting each other. We need to trust that our vulnerabilities and challenges are safe with the person we love.

If there were past misdeeds, I do not believe we should nag or repeat them, never mind throw them in someone__ face. If they sincerely apologized and we genuinely forgave them, we must move on. Learn from mistakes, but move on. If we bring them up and toss them at the offender, we may not have actually forgiven them, even if we claim we have.

We will remember the hurt, the injustice, and the trauma, but we can forgive the sinner.

We may repeatedly try to get our need for sex or our need for communication met by our partner. If our attempts are met with rejection over and over again, we may eventually stop asking. We tend to give up rather than keep setting ourselves up for regular rejection.

Unconditional love takes a strong and deliberate evolution. Unconditional love is way beyond emotional involvement. This is loving the person inside the person_ loving their very soul.

We could choose to celebrate our differences, rather than over-analyze them. This might help us become more realistic about the generalizations to which we subscribe. For example, consider this. If women are the overemotional ones, why do so many bar fights break out between men? Such brawls do not spring from logical, calm places.

It matters not which partner is bringing negativity into conversations and exchanges. Toxicity has no place at all between people who have promised to love each other.

Societies that have condoned male cheating and condemned female cheating are simply male-dominated cultures. Cheating is cheating, no matter who is doing it. It__ wrong.

Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.

Trust means that they will never throw our pain and vulnerabilities in our face. Trust means we know they will protect us and our innermost thoughts and shared feelings without question.

I can only imagine that future generations will consider us to have been barbaric for our intolerance of differences.

Liars are highly unlikely to admit their lies, never mind apologize for the hurt they__e caused. Liars don__ genuinely apologize. Deceit has become their full-out lifestyle. They are centered on themselves with no thoughts of the consequences of their lies. In cowardly style, they tell more lies to try and cover their tracks. They are not good at admitting they actually have shortcomings.

When it comes to people_ you could aptly say that I am a racist_ a human racist. I believe in people. There are good and not-so-good people of all colors and creeds. I__ not here to judge. Period. As people, we draw judgments from others when we behave badly, especially when we try to blame our bad behavior on others. This is not based on race, age, sex, or religion. It__ based on behavior differences.

Irritatingly angry people have no sense of humor when wearing their __ngry pants.

It matters little which party has gotten lazy about delivering what their partner craves. It doesn__ take too many days or weeks for an unsatisfied partner to start to feel love-starved and sadly unfulfilled. If you want great sex in the bedroom, show love to each other outside the bedroom.

If someone yells at me, they are not expressing love. They may be threatening me. They may be expressing great frustration with me. They may simply be trying to control my behavior. However, they are not communicating love.

Screaming and repeating lies makes them neither true nor more believable.