And me, standing under the splintered night, catching fractured glimpses into the black behind the black, hearing the prayers of stars, the angry whispers of the dark summer night.Its voice cracks,on your name.My eyes close,on your name.
I see how it is,_ I snapped. __ou were all in favor of me breaking the tattoo and thinking on my own__ut that__ only okay if it__ convenient for you, huh? Just like your __oving from afar_ only works if you don__ have an opportunity to get your hands all over me. And your lips. And_._._. stuff.__drian rarely got mad, and I wouldn__ quite say he was now. But he was definitely exasperated. __re you seriously in this much self-denial, Sydney? Like do you actually believe yourself when you say you don__ feel anything? Especially after what__ been happening between us?___othing__ happening between us,_ I said automatically. __hysical attraction isn__ the same as love. You of all people should know that.___uch,_ he said. His expression hadn__ changed, but I saw hurt in his eyes. I__ wounded him. __s that what bothers you? My past? That maybe I__ an expert in an area you aren__?___ne I__ sure you__ just love to educate me in. One more girl to add to your list of conquests.__e was speechless for a few moments and then held up one finger. __irst, I don__ have a list._ Another finger, __econd, if I did have a list, I could find someone a hell of lot less frustrating to add to it._ For the third finger, he leaned toward me. __nd finally, I know that you know you__e no conquest, so don__ act like you seriously think that. You and I have been through too much together. We__e too close, too connected. I wasn__ that crazy on spirit when I said you__e my flame in the dark. We chase away the shadows around each other. Our backgrounds don__ matter. What we have is bigger than that. I love you, and beneath all that logic, calculation, and superstition, I know you love me too. Running away and fleeing all your problems isn__ going to change that. You__e just going to end up scared and confused.___ already feel that way,_ I said quietly.Adrian moved back and leaned into his seat, looking tired. __ell, that__ the most accurate thing you__e said so far.__ grabbed the basket and jerked open the car door. Without another word, I stormed off, refusing to look back in case he saw the tears that had inexplicably appeared in my eyes. Only, I wasn__ sure exactly which part of our conversation I was most upset about.
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I see how it is,_ I snapped. __ou were all in favor of me breaking the tattoo and thinking on my own__ut that__ only okay if it__ convenient for you, huh? Just like your __oving from afar_ only works if you don__ have an opportunity to get your hands all over me. And your lips. And_._._. stuff.__drian rarely got mad, and I wouldn__ quite say he was now. But he was definitely exasperated. __re you seriously in this much self-denial, Sydney? Like do you actually believe yourself when you say you don__ feel anything? Especially after what__ been happening between us?___othing__ happening between us,_ I said automatically. __hysical attraction isn__ the same as love. You of all people should know that.___uch,_ he said. His expression hadn__ changed, but I saw hurt in his eyes. I__ wounded him. __s that what bothers you? My past? That maybe I__ an expert in an area you aren__?___ne I__ sure you__ just love to educate me in. One more girl to add to your list of conquests.__e was speechless for a few moments and then held up one finger. __irst, I don__ have a list._ Another finger, __econd, if I did have a list, I could find someone a hell of lot less frustrating to add to it._ For the third finger, he leaned toward me. __nd finally, I know that you know you__e no conquest, so don__ act like you seriously think that. You and I have been through too much together. We__e too close, too connected. I wasn__ that crazy on spirit when I said you__e my flame in the dark. We chase away the shadows around each other. Our backgrounds don__ matter. What we have is bigger than that. I love you, and beneath all that logic, calculation, and superstition, I know you love me too. Running away and fleeing all your problems isn__ going to change that. You__e just going to end up scared and confused.___ already feel that way,_ I said quietly.Adrian moved back and leaned into his seat, looking tired. __ell, that__ the most accurate thing you__e said so far.__ grabbed the basket and jerked open the car door. Without another word, I stormed off, refusing to look back in case he saw the tears that had inexplicably appeared in my eyes. Only, I wasn__ sure exactly which part of our conversation I was most upset about.
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I__ broken. Fucked up. I feel sick. I can__ breathe. It__ like someone__ snaked their fingers around my heart, capturing it in a crushing grip. It__ Emma. This is her doing. Well, it won__ fucking bleed for her. It won__ bleed for anyone. It__ black. I__ dead inside.
Mel rolled her eyes. "You can't live your life based on 'what-ifs,' Liv. And change is inevitable. It's the one thing you can always count on. Stop worrying about what might or not happen and follow your heart. How can you expect to ever be happy if you don't?
If you stand right at the edge of the night sky, some place where one o__lock leaves to meet two, the breeze will carry your words up to the stars. And they__l swallow your secrets until its time to hand them over to the truths in the sky- the ones that draw maps in the black. They carve their answers into the backs of my hands, the grooves of the words running deep in my palms.
Listen, Harriet. I do unterstand. I know you don't want either to give or to take ... You don't want ever again to have to depend for happiness on another person.""That's true. That's the truest thing you ever said.""All right. I can respect that. Only you've got to play the game. Don't force an emotional situation and then blame me for it.""But I don't want any situation. I want to be left in peace.
I remembered those frantic seconds when I__ thought all I loved and knew, all that was Sydney Sage, would be lost from this world. My battered friends and I had just had a brush with death, dancing with this evil. We__ destroyed it, but it was terrifying how touch and go it all had been. At any moment, the Strigoi could have gained the advantage and killed one or all of us. Life and death were inextricably bound together, and we wavered between them. But we__ triumphed over death tonight. We were alive, and the world was beautiful. Life was beautiful, and I refused to waste mine.