angst

I__ broken. Fucked up. I feel sick. I can__ breathe. It__ like someone__ snaked their fingers around my heart, capturing it in a crushing grip. It__ Emma. This is her doing. Well, it won__ fucking bleed for her. It won__ bleed for anyone. It__ black. I__ dead inside.

Mel rolled her eyes. "You can't live your life based on 'what-ifs,' Liv. And change is inevitable. It's the one thing you can always count on. Stop worrying about what might or not happen and follow your heart. How can you expect to ever be happy if you don't?

Love, he thinks, is a lie that people tell each other in order to make the world bearable. He is not up for the lie anymore. And nobody is going to lie to him like that, anyway. He's not even worth a lie.

Stacey muttered, "But I hate this school, and this city, and the sooner I leave, the better. I want to start over in a new place. I haven't . . ." her voice trailed off and she looked away from Jason, hoping instead to find her words among the falling raindrops. "Do you ever feel like you aren't the person you're supposed to be? That you could be a different person - and have a better life - if things had been just a little different?

You don__ have to have had something to want it or need it but when you have something you liked_ very much_ and it is taken away, and you want it back, it can become a hunger.

Angst is not the human condition, it__ the purgatory between what we have and what we want but can__ get.

Confidence is what we get when we take fear, face it and replace it.

Why does it hurt so much? Why does it have to hurt?

It was not only colored people who praised John, since they could not, John felt, in any case really know; but white people also said it, in fact had said it first and said it still. It was when John was five years old and in the first grade that he was first noticed; and since he was noticed by an eye altogether alien and impersonal, he began to perceive, in wild uneasiness, his individual existence.

Mostly she just missed Vaughn. Missed all those quiet, unspectacular moments that, when added up, showed how entwined their lives had become. And right now, she missed being able to phone him, because it would be so easy to tap in the eleven digits that would put his voice on the line. __race, about bloody time,_ he__ say, and make it sound like an endearment.But she couldn__ call Vaughn, because she__ left him. Which was a novelty, until Grace remembered that he__ have left her eventually if she hadn__ done it first. She was never the one. She was never even the one before the one. She was the girl who seemed like a good idea at the time, but ultimately was just a phase that people went through.That was the way it had always been. Friends and lovers came and went because there was something about her which repelled them, and she didn__ have a clue what it was. It was a mystery that she couldn__ solve on her own, and there wasn__ a single person in the world who could help . . .

There's a special quality to the loneliness of dusk, a melancholy more brooding even than the night's.

_So, um, you__e from Rochester? Like, New York?_ Jersey asked.__up, we used to live out there,_ Rudger confirmed, nonchalant. __ou ever been?___aw, the closest I__e ever been to there would be_ well, believe it or not, New Jersey, the place where my parents named me after. It was crowded, polluted and full of crime_ I loved it.

Don__ run away from me, Logan. I__ not sure why you__e scared every time I try and show you some kindness, but don__ reject me. It__ not easy for me either. I__ not a natural. I__e forgotten how it feels to put down the barriers and let someone in.

Books make the best ersatz friendships.

The problem with having friends was that you might lose them. Or they might get hurt.

It made sense, Amanda decided. People thrived on the misfortunes of others: her mother was the perfect example of that. Can't see a car accident, she thought, for wanting to climb inside and join in.

Back then, come July, and the blazers would again make their way out of the steel trunks and evenings would be spent looking at snow-capped mountains from our terrace and spotting the first few lights on the hills above. It was the time for radishes and mulberries in the garden and violets on the slopes. The wind carried with it the comforting fragrance of eucalyptus. It was in fact all about the fragrances, like you know, in a Sherlock Holmes story. Even if you walked with your eyes closed, you could tell at a whiff, when you had arrived at the place, deduce it just by its scent. So, the oranges denoted the start of the fruit-bazaar near Prakash ji__ book shop, and the smell of freshly baked plum cake meant you had arrived opposite Air Force school and the burnt lingering aroma of coffee connoted Mayfair. But when they carved a new state out of the land and Dehra was made its capital, we watched besotted as that little town sprouted new buildings, high-rise apartments, restaurant chains, shopping malls and traffic jams, and eventually it spilled over here. I can__ help noticing now that the fragrances have changed; the Mogra is tinged with a hint of smoke and will be on the market tomorrow. The Church has remained and so has everything old that was cast in brick and stone, but they seem so much more alien that I almost wish they had been ruined._('Left from Dhakeshwari')

He was acting like our kiss had broken him, and his reaction was breaking me.