waiting

Yes, still I remember that you always wait for me with love in eyes but when I arrive you got angry on me and I know that was totally a drama.

I did the searching and remembering, she did the disappearing and the forgetting.

I have always, essentially, been waiting. Waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person I always thought I was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life I thought I would have. In my head, I was always one step away. In high school, I was biding my time until I could become the college version of myself, the one my mind could see so clearly. In college, the post-college __dult_ person was always looming in front of me, smarter, stronger, more organized. Then the married person, then the person I__ become when we have kids. For twenty years, literally, I have waited to become the thin version of myself, because that__ when life will really begin.And through all that waiting, here I am. My life is passing, day by day, and I am waiting for it to start. I am waiting for that time, that person, that event when my life will finally begin.I love movies about __he Big Moment_ _ the game or the performance or the wedding day or the record deal, the stories that split time with that key event, and everything is reframed, before it and after it, because it has changed everything. I have always wanted this movie-worthy event, something that will change everything and grab me out of this waiting game into the whirlwind in front of me. I cry and cry at these movies, because I am still waiting for my own big moment. I had visions of life as an adventure, a thing to be celebrated and experienced, but all I was doing was going to work and coming home, and that wasn__ what it looked like in the movies.John Lennon once said, __ife is what happens when you__e busy making other plans._ For me, life is what was happening while I was busy waiting for my big moment. I was ready for it and believed that the rest of my life would fade into the background, and that my big moment would carry me through life like a lifeboat.The Big Moment, unfortunately, is an urban myth. Some people have them, in a sense, when they win the Heisman or become the next American Idol. But even that football player or that singer is living a life made up of more than that one moment. Life is a collection of a million, billion moments, tiny little moments and choices, like a handful of luminous, glowing pearl. It takes so much time, and so much work, and those beads and moments are so small, and so much less fabulous and dramatic than the movies.But this is what I__ finding, in glimpses and flashes: this is it. This is it, in the best possible way. That thing I__ waiting for, that adventure, that move-score-worthy experience unfolding gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets _ this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of use will ever experience.

...as long as nothing happens between them, the memory is cursed with what hasn't happened.

Please don't waste-away in front of a TV waiting to win a lottery during the precious few hours you are not imprisoned in corporate shackles.

Ambition had never troubled me, so I decided to begin by watching life at my leisure for a few years, waiting until I finally felt tempted to find some circle of influence for myself.

Sometimes there is no time to wait for the sea to calm down! If you have to reach your target, let your voyage start and let the storm be your path!

A ship on the port always waits for you to sail to the oceans!

Many lives are wasted by just waiting for something good to come from the horizon instead of going to the horizon and finding something good over there!

waitingin a life full of little storiesfor a death to come

And when it's really maddening__ou echo in mind Dreaming you and me makes me highThis weakness in no time This craving all the time Thought of cuddling you I can't stop even for a whileJust want to sleep in your arms day and nightwhy your songs every time why you don't go out of sightReading you in quotes line by line Dreams of our home before dying Nights are broken quiet Talking to you is an urge Everyday FightDeep silent shouts why I don't want to take you out Parties are over I just stand lost in corners. It's blue even in laughs People ask why silence even in noise It's like beyond you there is no life why these roads These long night walks I just don't stopwhy it's so cold why sky calls why can't I see you why there is Moon

And when it's really maddeningYou echo in mind Dreaming you and me makes me highThis weakness in no time This craving all the time Thought of cuddling you I can't stop even for a whileJust want to sleep in your arms day and nightwhy your songs every time why you don't go out of sightReading you in quotes line by line Dreams of our home before dying Nights are broken quiet Talking to you is an urge Everyday FightDeep silent shouts why I don't want to take you out Parties are over I just stand lost in corners. It's blue even in laughs People ask why silence even in noise It's like beyond you there is no life why these roads These long night walks I just don't stopwhy it's so cold why sky calls why can't I see you why there is Moon

I'm hungry for a juicy life. I lean out my window at night and I can taste it out there, just waiting for me.

When you__e sure of what you want, I__l be right here.

That__ what being a mother is, isn__ it? Waiting for a rounded belly to tighten in readiness; listening for the sound of hunger in the moonlit hours; hearing an eager voice call even in the camouflage of traffic, loud music, and whirring machines. It__ looking at every door, every phone, and every approaching silhouette and feeling that slight lift, that tickle of opportunity to be again__other.

Ich werde stehen und warten.Ich werde müde werden.Ich werde nicht einschlafen.Ich werde sterben.

Whenever you come upon a free supply of high-quality corn, provided unexpectedly right there in the middle of the forest, be careful! The people who put it there are probably sitting nearby in a stand, just waiting to take a shot at you. Keep your eyes and ears open!

I__e learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you__e with me, even when you__e not by my side.