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troops

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Forget bringing the troops home from Iraq. We need to get the troops home from World War II. Can anybody tell me why, in 2009, we still have more than sixty thousand troops in Germany and thirty thousand in Japan? At some point, these people are going to have to learn to rape themselves. Our soldiers have been in Germany so long they now wear shorts with black socks. You know that crazy soldier hiding in the cave on Iwo Jima who doesn__ know the war is over? That__ us.Bush and Cheney used to love to keep Americans all sphinctered-up on the notion that terrorists might follow us home. But actually, we__e the people who go to your home and then never leave. Here__ the facts: The Republic of America has more than five hundred thousand military personnel deployed on more than seven hundred bases, with troops in one hundred fifty countries__e__e like McDonald__ with tanks__ncluding thirty-seven European countries__ecause you never know when Portugal might invade Euro Disney. And this doesn__ even count our secret torture prisons, which are all over the place, but you never really see them until someone brings you there__inda like IHOP.Of course, Americans would never stand for this in reverse__e can barely stand letting Mexicans in to do the landscaping. Can you imagine if there were twenty thousand armed Guatemalans on a base in San Ber-nardino right now? Lou Dobbs would become a suicide bomber.And why? How did this country get stuck with an empire? I__ not saying we__e Rome. Rome had good infrastructure. But we are an empire, and the reason is because once America lands in a country, there is no exit strategy. We__e like cellulite, herpes, and Irish relatives: We are not going anywhere. We love you long time!

BM
Bill Maher

The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

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It is not the self respect and pride that you take with you, but the heritage you leave behind to your children that matters. A strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations. Those blessed with a patriotic genetic legacy should run to the top of the mountain and roar with all fervency, __f they can over come, so will I!_ When you know the ghosts that stand in support of you, you can begin to see life as they did__ life of joy, possibilities and freedom.