sports

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.

Men go to the ballpark with an assumed knowledge and interest, whereas women need to constantly demonstrate how much they know and care.

Just as we tell women today to vote, in honour of the suffragettes who campaigned for the right to do so, we owe it to these female sports pioneers to draw inspiration from their stories, to continue the fight.

I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Sports, Politics and Technology. All the same game.

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water.

Why is luge a sport? You dress up like a giant sperm and go sledding really fast. That__ hardly athletic. Phallic and sexy, yes. But hardly athletic.

There's something about putting on a pair of skates, and getting out there and moving like nobody else can. Freedom is a word that comes to mind.

The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.

The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter.

Another atrocity of summer is soccer. When the Euro Cup is on, it brings out the worst in people. It turns them into ravaging beasts who complain when a team they like, which they have done nothing to deserve, slips from grace and loses the match.An old man sitting beside me at the cafe was watching the men watch the soccer rather than watch the soccer himself. He found their reactions more entertaining than the game."All this stuff and nonsense over men kicking a ball," he groused. "And they don't do any of the work themselves."I told him, "We should just have wars. Then we would not need sports."He laughed and quite agreed with me.

Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting. (in "The Sporting Spirit", Tribune, GB, London, December 1945)

Sports is to war as pornography is to sex.

If You Respect Their Preparation,You never Drop the Baton

Sports just happen to be excellent for avoiding foreign-language stage fright and developing lasting friendships while still sounding like Tarzan.

Champions never sleep, the eternal spirit keep them alert and awake.