shame

Loss of any sort should stir up emotion; if it doesn__, it__ because we__e trained ourselves to be numb. We__e bought into the great societal lie that emotional and sensitive is bad, is shameful, is weak, and worse yet is unlike Him.

Loss of social standing is an ever-present threat for individuals whose social acceptance is based on behavioral traits rather than unconditional human value.

Self redemption is the first step to exoneration from guilt.

Guilt addresses an external action while shame attacks the internal character!" EL

When you hear the haunting melody of guilt and shame, drown it out with God's song of forgiveness and love.

The word forever had been coming up a lot during my two years among the publicly shamed. Jonah and Justine and people like them were being told, 'No. There is no door. There is no way back in. We don't offer any forgiveness.' But we know that people are complicated and have a mixture of flaws and talents and sins. So why do we pretend that we don't?

There are crimes that are truly uncomely. With crimes, whatever they may be, the more blood, the more horror there is, the more imposing they are, the more picturesque, so to speak, but there are crimes that are shameful, disgraceful, all horror aside, so to speak, even far too ungracious...

This is the way it ought to be, he thought to himself, to be able to dance with a girl you like and really get a kick out of it because everything_ on an even keel and one__ worries are of the usual ones of unpaid bills and sickness in the family and being late to work too often. Wh can__ it be that way for me? Nobody__ looking twice at us. Nobody__ asking me where I was during the war or what the hell I am doing back on the coast. There__ no trouble to be had without looking for it. Everything__ the same, just as it used to be. No bad feelings except for those that have always been and probably always will. It__ a matter of attitude. Mine needs changing. I__e got to love the world the way I used to. I__e got to love it and the people so I__l feel good, and feeling good will make life worthwhile. There__ no point in crying about what__ done. There__ a place for me and Emi and Freddie here on the dance floor and out there in the hustle of things if we__l let it be that way. I__e been fighting it and hating it and letting my bitterness against myself and Ma and Pa and even Taro throw the whole universe out of perspective. I want only to go on living and be happy. I__e only to let myself do so.

The terror of being judged sharpens the memory: it sends an inevitable glare over that long-unvisited past which has been habitually recalled only in general phrases. Even without memory, the life is bound into one by a zone of dependence in growth and decay; but intense memory forces a man to own his blameworthy past. With memory set smarting like a reopened wound, a man__ past is not simply a dead history, an outworn preparation of the present: it is not a repented error shaken loose from the life: it is a still quivering part of himself, bringing shudders and bitter flavors and the tinglings of a merited shame.

Good...if you've done things you aren't proud of. It means you have a conscience.

Complex PTSD consists of of six symptom clusters, which also have been described in terms of dissociation of personality. Of course, people who receive this diagnosis often also suffer from other problems as well, and as noted earlier, diagnostic categories may overlap significantly. The symptom clusters are as follows:Alterations in Regulation of Affect ( Emotion ) and ImpulsesChanges in Relationship with othersSomatic SymptomsChanges in MeaningChanges in the perception of SelfChanges in Attention and Consciousness

Changes in Relationship with others:It is especially hard to trust other people if you have been repeatedly abused, abandoned or betrayed as a child. Mistrust makes it very difficult to make friends, and to be able to distinguish between good and bad intentions in other people. Some parts do not seem to trust anyone, while other parts may be so vulnerable and needy that they do not pay attention to clues that perhaps a person is not trustworthy. Some parts like to be close to others or feel a desperate need to be close and taken care of, while other parts fear being close or actively dislike people. Some parts are afraid of being in relationships while others are afraid of being rejected or criticized. This naturally sets up major internal as well as relational conflicts.

yet if you had a desire for good or beautiful thingsand your tongue were not concocting some evil to sayshame would not hold down your eyesbut rather you would speak about what is just

Find one person to trust__here need only be one. With them, share every shame, every secret and listen to theirs_ with love. Bare hearts and souls until there is understanding. Of a certainty, such honest exposure is the first step toward happiness. _ André Chevalier

If we are going to find our way out of shame and back to each other, vulnerability is the path and courage is the light. To set down those lists of *what we're supposed to be* is brave. To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.

Everything we have, everything we are, is a gift. How can we judge and shame ourselves if this is true?

He asked me for a light to light his cigarette, and by reason of unaware, it is he that really gave light to me, made me realize how much alike we all are, breathing the same air, beating the same red blood, separated through some fortune and shame in the way of humanity.

Feelings and stories of unworthiness and shame are perhaps the most binding element in the trance of fear. When we believe something is wrong with us, we are convinced we are in danger. Our shame fuels ongoing fear, and our fear fuels more shame. The very fact that we feel fear seems to prove that we are broken or incapable. When we are trapped in trance, being fearful and bad seem to define who we are. The anxiety in our body, the stories, the ways we make excuses, withdraw or lash out__hese become to us the self that is most real.