My mother used to say not sleeping was the sign of a guilty mind. It could have been. There was a lot in my mind to feel guilty about. When you__e drunk and trying to sleep, your thoughts are visited by the ghosts of those deeds whose heat still glows hottest in your personal darkness. Our actions burn much longer than the moments in which they occur. And drunks like me, we hide from the glow of the embers by fueling other fires and hiding within the flames.
This is the way it ought to be, he thought to himself, to be able to dance with a girl you like and really get a kick out of it because everything_ on an even keel and one__ worries are of the usual ones of unpaid bills and sickness in the family and being late to work too often. Wh can__ it be that way for me? Nobody__ looking twice at us. Nobody__ asking me where I was during the war or what the hell I am doing back on the coast. There__ no trouble to be had without looking for it. Everything__ the same, just as it used to be. No bad feelings except for those that have always been and probably always will. It__ a matter of attitude. Mine needs changing. I__e got to love the world the way I used to. I__e got to love it and the people so I__l feel good, and feeling good will make life worthwhile. There__ no point in crying about what__ done. There__ a place for me and Emi and Freddie here on the dance floor and out there in the hustle of things if we__l let it be that way. I__e been fighting it and hating it and letting my bitterness against myself and Ma and Pa and even Taro throw the whole universe out of perspective. I want only to go on living and be happy. I__e only to let myself do so.
No-No Boy
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This is the way it ought to be, he thought to himself, to be able to dance with a girl you like and really get a kick out of it because everything_ on an even keel and one__ worries are of the usual ones of unpaid bills and sickness in the family and being late to work too often. Wh can__ it be that way for me? Nobody__ looking twice at us. Nobody__ asking me where I was during the war or what the hell I am doing back on the coast. There__ no trouble to be had without looking for it. Everything__ the same, just as it used to be. No bad feelings except for those that have always been and probably always will. It__ a matter of attitude. Mine needs changing. I__e got to love the world the way I used to. I__e got to love it and the people so I__l feel good, and feeling good will make life worthwhile. There__ no point in crying about what__ done. There__ a place for me and Emi and Freddie here on the dance floor and out there in the hustle of things if we__l let it be that way. I__e been fighting it and hating it and letting my bitterness against myself and Ma and Pa and even Taro throw the whole universe out of perspective. I want only to go on living and be happy. I__e only to let myself do so.
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