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Survivors often develop an exaggerated need for control in their adult relationships. It__ the only way they feel safe. They also struggle with commitment__aying yes in a relationship means being trapped in yet another family situation where abuse might take place. So the survivor panics as her relationship gets closer, certain that something terrible is going to happen. She pulls away, rejects, or tests her partner all the time.

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Laura Davis

Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Is a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse

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Let's face it. We live in a command-based system, where we have been programmed since our earliest school years to become followers, not individuals. We have been conditioned to embrace teams, the herd, the masses, popular opinion -- and to reject what is different, eccentric or stands alone. We are so programmed that all it takes for any business or authority to condition our minds to follow or buy something is to simply repeat a statement more than three or four times until we repeat it ourselves and follow it as truth or the best trendiest thing. This is called "programming" -- the frequent repetition of words to condition us how to think, what to like or dislike, and who to follow.

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Suzy Kassem

Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem