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overthinking

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This time, something different happens, though. It__ the daydreaming that does it. I__ doing the usualthing__magining in tiny detail the entire course of the relationship, from first kiss, to bed, to moving intogether, to getting married (in the past I have even organized the track listing of the party tapes), to howpretty she__l look when she__ pregnant, to names of children__ntil suddenly I realize that there__nothing left to actually, like, happen. I__e done it all, lived through the whole relationship in my head.I__e watched the film on fast-forward; I know the whole plot, the ending, all the good bit. Now I__e gotto rewind and watch it all over again in real time, and where__ the fun in that?And fucking _ when__ it all going to fucking stop? I__ going to jump from rock to rock for the rest ofmy life until there aren__ any rocks left? I__ going to run each time I get itchy feet? Because I get themabout once a quarter, along with the utilities bills. More than that, even, during British Summer Time.I__e been thinking with my guts since I was fourteen years old, and frankly speaking, between you andme, I have come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.