nice-guy-syndrome

It's sweet and everything, but it's like you're not even there sometimes. It's great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn't need a shoulder? What if they need the arms or something like that? You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things." "Like what?" I asked. My mouth was dry. "I don't know. Like take their hands when the slow song comes up for a change. Or be the one who asks someone for a date. Or tell people what you need. Or what you want.

The trick to realize that the boys who talk so much about being rejected that it seems like the__e proud of it aren__ necessarily sweeter or more sensitive than the Bababooey-spouting frat bullies who line up at clubs like SkyBar to run game on girls they want to date rape. There are plenty of nerds who fear women and aren__ sensitive, despite their marketing; they just dislike women in a new, exciting way. Timid racists aren__ sensitive because they lock their car doors when they see a black person on the street. They__e just too scared to get out of the car and shout the ___ word. Fear can be the result of admiration, or it can be a symptom of contempt. When I see squeamish guys passing over qualified women when they__e hiring for a job, or becoming tongue tied when a girl crashes their all-boy conversation at a party, I don__ give them credit for being awestruck. They__e reacting to the intimidating female as an intruder, an alien, and somebody they can__ relate to. It__ not a compliment to be made invisible.