marriage

Don't go to sleep, Ginger-Sun.""Draz-""I know," he muttered, "'Behave, Baz. She's been through a lot. And don't make a baby for at least three months.'""They told you not to touch me for three months?""Let's just say it was strongly suggested.

Some couples are married because they fell in love. Some are married because the woman fell pregnant.

The boring thing with 'No sex before marriage' is that kids will never get to attend their parents_ wedding.

Some marry because they are in love. Others marry to have sex ... without the guilt.

The difference between sex with David and sex with Stephen is like the difference between science and art. With Stephen it's all empathy and imagination and exploration and the shock of the new, and the outcome is... uncertain, if you know what I mean. I'm engaged by it, but I', mot necessarily sure what its all about. David, on the other hand, presses this button, then that one, and bingo! It's like operating a lift - just as romantic, but actually just as useful.

Whilst lovers: to control her man, a woman uses (the man__ access to) her vagina. When ex-lovers: she uses (the man's access to) their kids.

To see a man__ true colours, tell him that you don__ plan on having sex with him. To see a woman__ true colours, tell her that you don__ plan on marrying her.

To a man who was required to marry before he was allowed to have sex with his lover, marriage is a __ighteous_ form of prostitution.

Sex swims in marriage, while sex sinks in sin of being single.

There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of women that he is convinced he is in love with, or, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.

Homophobia is the ignorant and arrogant assumption that copulation and reproduction is all there is to a relationship.

A great deal of thought must be given to your daughter's marriage. Otherwise, she will simply slink off like a cat on a dark night to be fertilized under a bush to God knows whom!

Exploration of her body will open the doors to pleasuring her in ways she has yet to experience.

A salary is, to a man's employer, what his wife's vagina is to his wife: a tool used to (1) reward; and (2) control him.

When coming to sex: First served, first come.

There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of women that he is convinced he is in love with.

My generation was, in effect, the product of a social experiment. If we did not understand marital intimacy, it was because we had not seen it modelled. We lurched from relationship to relationship, dazzled by the newness of meaninglessness, relentless in our search for something even the most perceptive of us could not identify.

Any marriage is hard work. But what I always say is, "Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.