humorous-quotes

Christian swiped the keys from my hand. "Maybe the fates want us to take the car home. Why do I have a feeling I'm going to regret this?I smirked. "Is that what Viktor said before he hired you?""That's what your husband is going to say before reciting his vows.""That's what every woman says before they have sex with you."Christian swaggered toward the door, swinging the keys around his finger. "That's what I'm going to say before you serve our dinner tonight.

I remember watching him perform these endless, boring violin solos, with his long hair flowing behind him like an Afghan hound in a gale, and thinking, 'what a tosser.

Have you ever heard of a condom? Don't Carpathians have condoms? Because I'm thinking that if you're all that worried, a condom might be just the thing." His smile was slow in coming. "I had not thought of that. As a rule Carpathians do not need such things.

I get a kick out of cursing people for life on Sundays.

Kloo nodded at Lex in an indescribably maternal way, somehow cramming a lifetime of compassion, support, and tenderness all into one slight bounce of the head.

After a few more minutes of daydreaming about how fabulous I could become, I look down at the heading on my paper: Janey's Reinvention Plan. It appears lonely at the top of the page. I should probably add some bullets beneath, but I've never been much of a list maker.

On those who judge, illusions are entertaining; In honestly, I find error in some of their truth.

I made a noise of disgust, and I think I would have stormed out if I knew how to open the door.

...I think I saw something orange pass beneath a streetlight. That means she turned the corner on Pecan Street. Wait right here, and I__l get my car._ Stella grabbed Mona__ arm. __here__ no time. Follow me and keep your mouth shut._ Instead of going to the street, Stella crept through a yard. __his is crazy, I can__ see a thing. Stella, we could break a leg._ __ told you to be quiet. I know these yards as well as I know my own. Stay behind me._ She led Mona behind a large azalea bush close to the sidewalk. They hid there as Rusty approached, and she was almost on top of them when Mona sneezed. Rusty stopped, put her hands on her hips, and said, __ know you__e in there._ Neither Stella nor Mona made a peep. __ think I understand why you feel the need to watch me. I__ new around here, so let me introduce myself. My name is Rusty Martinez. I__ a businesswoman, and I have no intention of breaking into anyone__ home. I__ simply out for exercise, so you have nothing to worry about._ __kay, well, you have a nice night,_ Mona said cheerily. Rusty recoiled at the response. __m_you too,_ she said quickly and jogged away. Stella groaned. __our mother obviously didn__ teach you how to properly conduct a mission, did she?_ __f you mean how to hide in a bush, then no.

So_just to be totally clear, you are a lesbian, right?_ Lydia met Harper__ gaze. __ am, and I__ damn proud of it._ __hat__ pretty cool._ __lad you think so,_ Lydia said with a smirk. ____ hate to get another detention for painting you and this ugly-ass badger.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns a lesson he can learn in no other way.

One man's Mona Lisa is another man's velvet Elvis.

When people ask how old I am, I just tell them twenty-one, and if they assume I mean years instead of decades or centuries, then that can't be my fault, can it?

Y__ll ever seen that 'monkeys typing in a room for eternity would eventually create the works of Shakespeare' quote? Well, one time Drew got high and stated, 'Wait, that happened already. We__e monkeys, and space is eternity, and we typed, and it happened.' He insisted we put it in the book.

Having plans sounds like a good idea - until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.

to be in charge. To be the wise owl. The comforter. I felt I__ moved beyond that. Gained my own wisdom. Found comfort in my own company. In just being me. The long healing process was at an end, hastened by these few days of sunshine and blissful solitude.

We're all secretly idiots inside.

I've known him since dirt was new, Papaw laughed. We go way back...Dawg Papaw, that's a long time! Mark exclaimed.