humorous-quotes

I was very sorry to hear about your losses. Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they'll be more frightened of marriage than they are presently. (Olenna Tyrell to Sansa Stark

Wit is so shining a quality that everybody admires it, most people aim at it, all people fear it and few love it unless in themselves. A man must have a good share of wit himself to endure it in others. The more wit you have, the more good nature and politness you must show to induce people to pardon your superiority, for that is no easy matter.

A gold cage is still a cage.-King David IOh, go cry in a bag of money.-Queen Christina

No, I don't go to that restaurant anymore. No body goes there. It's too crowded.

Politicians and children have two speeds: running and asleep.

She did not care what a ludicrous picture she might be painting, a fat happy old lady in her night gown, swinging on a small little swing in the dead of the night.

You can't fall in love with someone in a day.""Romeo and Juliet did," Melanie says, tugging me toward the exit."Yeah, and then they killed themselves a few hours later. Thanks for the pep talk, Mel.

If you don't have a headache by the end of this class, I'm not doing my job.

Wisdom of the Ages: "Hillary" Has replaced the term "battle-axe" to describe an undesirable mother-in-law in 37 languages.

You didn't happen to install Windows when you upgraded me, did you?

I wish I had an imaginary friend.

It's easy to have high morals when you'd be safe naked in the middle of San Quentin Prison.

He was my age and in my imagination he was a fireman, not the kind that actually fights fires but the kind who travels the country shirtless posing for calendars.

Fiction is but a moment of bliss that takes the pain away...Like a cookie for the soul...

Wisdom of the Ages: "National Symbol" With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn't our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vulture?

Wisdom of the Ages: "Ski-ing" The act of visiting Polish people.

Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children.

And we__e at four. Alexis Ann, I think we__e in an abusive relationship.