humorous-quotes

You pay for that,_ he told Ian as he hopped off the hood. __ou pay for that, now.__an and Peter ignored him, circling around the car. The passenger jumped out and ran off at a sprint, as if the very hounds of hell were nipping at his heels. The taxi driver watched him go and stamped his foot in rage. __ou pay for him, too,_ he yelled at the men, seething in anger.

You know you're officially an adult when you finally understand WHY Miss Hannigan was drinking bath water.

And watch your tongue. I happen to be partial to humans - most, anyway. Clowns, not so much. Those evil bastards never stop smiling."Niccolo didn't know what these "clowns" were, but he made a mental not to stay away if he ever encountered one. Sounded unpleasant.

You want to grab something here, Brycin?_ he asked, bending over again. Um . . . yeah. Your ass.

If you give a writer a line, they'll take a paragraph_

If you want to convince a criminal to see things your way, start by seeing things theirs.

It was the ship of dreams to everyone else.

Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.

Just because I have shoes on is no sign that I am walking.

The main difference between a lawyer and a prostitute is that a prostitute won't screw you after you're dead.

Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes later".

Podtyagin considers whether to take offence or not -- and decides to take offence.

I mean. You put puppies in a store front, I will stop and giddily stare. Every. Single. Time.

6 Reasons Why You Should Be A Cat: 1) Free Food. 2) Free Rent. 3) Sleep As Long As You Want. 4) Look Great With No Effort. 5) Toes Look Like Beans. 6) License to Kill!

Charity knew she had to begin looking for a job soon. Definitely tomorrow, or the next day. Or perhaps the day after that. Charity didn't believe in procrastination. She just needed to plan her strategy. She was sound asleep on the sofa when Lady Margaret got back from London.

Anything can happen in Hollywood, even good things.

Life without risks is like a burrito without Tabasco. Bland, but you__l still fart.

Kiss my ass." "If you__ like me to start there.